Live Blog: Project Runway

I am so pumped for the triumphant return of Project Runway! It's been too long since we last saw Heidi, Nina, Michael and of course Tim Gunn. To celebrate this ocassion, I am blogging in real time. It's like 24 but with random observations and fewer requests for schematics. And I may be getting some insights over gChat from my friend, co-worker, and reality TV fanatic Liz.

Stay tuned. I'm strapped in and ready to rock this bitch.8:56 PM : Last year's finale is still on. Jeffrey was a jerk but you can't say he wasn't talented. Uli was one dimensional and annoying. The worst dimension you can be. Sidenote: You never see the models on this show ever again. I think they fall into the same bottomless pit as America's Top Model winners. Naima? Where are you?

9:00 PM: Rami Kashou could beat up the other designers if he wanted. FIT! Opposite of Chrs March. Though Chirs March could probably make a better sandwich.

9:02 PM: Carmen Weber and Christian whatshisface are starting the trend of Project Runway kids with bad hair. It's not innovative, it's just ugly. Oh yikes. Kit joined the club too. And Kevin's facial hair decided to be in on the fun.

9:03 PM: I'm already loving the quiet guy who works at the Museum of Science and Industry. What a sweetie. He reminds me of Daniel Vosovic.

9:04 PM: Don't piss them off or Sweet P and Rami are going to collectively whale on everyone in the apartment. I wouldn't want to meet either of them in a back alley. And Marion Lee may or may not be a serial killer. That pasty skin, the quiet gravely voice, the flower shop. He has access to shovels and soil. Tim Gunn grew his hair out and no longer works for the New School. Liz Claiborne? That seems a little drab for his taste, maybe that's why they hired him.

9:09 PM: First challenge: Use really nice fabrics to make anything you want that expresses who you are as a designer. Everyone is running towards the tents. I hope Chris March is okay. I'd be out of breath. Oh know, he really is slow. Luckily he got what he wanted. Ricky Fast Hands took everything he could. It's smart but kind of a dick move. And who is this crazy lady rubbing her fabric in the grass? I get that you love natural dyes, but don't be that girl on your first day.

9:16 PM: Simone Le Blanc is not going to win this show. You heard it here first. Quote of the night, " ...almost like water or magic flowing out of the back." There is magic or bullshit flowing out of Elisa's mouth. All of these people are just too philosophical. Shut up and sew.

9:20 PM: Well Rami can sew. That dress is adorable. It's one of the first ones on this show that I would actually wear. Elisa's dress with the magic coming out of it looks more like a blue dress throwing up on a thrift store. I hope she goes home, but I do kind of like her craziness.

9:25 PM: That commercial with Santino was so contrived. I know he was probably contractually obligated but I think he sold out. I couldn't find Santino's blog on Bravotv.com. I did find Laura Bennett's. Remember her?

9:28 PM: Carmen Webber has a deeper voice than half of the dudes on the show. It is a little distracting. Elisa with the crazy? "I'm going to hand measure you." What? That sounds like a line a drunk guy would use to feel a girl up. I think this is the first time I've warped blue over Project Runway.

9:36 PM: Reason 159,321,763 why people hate America: The Arby-Q sandwich.

9:38 PM: Micheal Kors looks older and very orange. I think he's been fraternizing with George Hamilton. Kevin's dress is kind of slutty. A mix between a party gown and 3 AM at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch. Christian Siriano's dress is like a period piece. 1920s or 30s. Not very flattering on the model. Jack Mackenroth's dress is adorable. I am enjoying the increase in accessible fashion.

9:42 PM: Marion's dress was steeped in S&M overtones or at least a Nightmare Before Christmas vibe. This is only confirming my suspicions.

9:44 PM: Shut up Michael Kors! Rami's flower was not too bland and motherly. I thought it cinched the whole thing together. But who am I to judge? I wore stirrup pants 3 years past the expiration date.

9:47 PM: Victorya's flower is more abrasive than Rami's ever will be. I'm 47 minutes in and already playing favorites. The judges aren't happy with Simone. If she goes home, it will be the biggest call of my life. Elisa's model looks kind of like Natalie Portman.

9:50 PM: 10 minute predictions. Winner: Rami Auf'd: Simone

9:55 PM: Question of the night: Will Bravo's new show, Make Me A Supermodel, put the kibosh on Top Model? I hope not.

9:56 PM: Who's going home? I can't take the suspense. Simone is already crying. I told you! She's weaker than soggy bread.

9:57 PM: Called it! File that under Booya! See you later Simone.

I am looking forward to this season. It is already full of bitchiness and intrigue. Just another reason to love Wednesdays!