And I Am Telling Youuuu: J-Hud Can Do Better

News just broke that Oscar winner, Obama darling, Dreamgirl, and former American Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson is engaged to her boyfriend of less than a year, David Otunga. While Otunga may not sound too familiar, maybe the name "Punk" rings a bell. Yep, J-Hud's fiance was a former contestant on I Love New York 2.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure he's a nice guy and they probably have loads in common considering they're both from Chicago and they've survived reality shows. But with an Academy Award on her mantle, a budding film career and a new album dropping soon, Jennifer Hudson seems poised for stardom and her future hubby well...doesn't.

So let's do our girl a favor and offer up some suggestions for potential mates. Sure she's engaged, but like my man Michael Scott says, "BFD, engaged ain't married."

Here are my three picks for eligible fellas:

• Kanye West: He's from Chicago too! He may be kind of a short fuse but most genius' are. Pros: He's bright, has great clothes, brilliant artist (possibility for duets?) Cons: He's always on tour, he's an awful blogger and did we mention that short fuse?

• Jason from The Bachelorette: If dating show rejects are J-Hud's thing, then look no further than Jason. He was left down on one knee on the last season of The Bachelorette. Cue one giant case of the weepies. Pros: Adorable, great dad to that little son of his. Cons: Already committed to serve as next Bachelor...may be committing for his affections with 15 other ladies.
  

• My brother Chris: He has ambition, he cooks, he owns a condo, and guess where he was born? Chi-Town! Pros: Marrying someone out of the spotlight could give her a nice repreive. Cons: I would never stop requesting that she sing songs from Dreamgirls.
  

Anyone else have some good suggestions? What's that Prince William up to? That quarterback for USC was pretty hot yesterday when he trounced Ohio State. Someone fax his number to Hudson's people...stat!

Photo: rap-up.com

Hump Day Update

Hey peeps. Lots to write about and just when I think I don't have time to do it all, I remember my dear old friend Hump Day Update.

• Who Wants To Be A Millionaire got a serious makeover for its season premiere this week. There's a time limit on the questions, new crazy life lines, and help from celebrity experts. I use the term celebrity loosely as so far the only celebrity has been Bill Nye the Science Guy, though he is is 2 for 2. It speeds up the show and that time limit makes you second guess yourself on even the easiest questions. I know what you're all thinking, "How long is the time-limit for the million dollar question?" It's 45 seconds plus all of the time you bank during the other questions. So if you only use 5 seconds during a 30 second time period, 25 seconds goes to the bank. Neat huh?

• Ellen Degeneres is the new spokesperson for Cover Girl. I don't wear make-up but I appreciate the fact Cover Girl uses funny, vibrant, down-to-earth celebs like Queen Latifah and Ellen for their ad campaigns. Classy.
  

• Juliana Margulies obviously missed my mother's lesson on dressing your best for every situation...oh and the one on keeping your vagina to yourself.
  

• Michael Phelps is hosting SNL this week. Anyone see him totally bonk before he introduced Little Wayne at the VMAs? Hopefully he can hold it together on Saturday.
  

• Speaking of the VMAs, thoughts on Kanye's new song, "Love Lockdown"? I loved it live, but I'm not feeling this studio version.

Photo: The Remote Island

A VMA Field Guide

The Video Music Awards are on tonight. When watching MTV's self-absorbed awards program, please have these things in mind.

• If you are over the age of 14, this show is no longer aimed for your tastes. You may like the music, you may be a fan of the celebrity guests, but that's where the fun ends. The jokes are awful, the sets are gaudy and there are commercial breaks every six seconds since young people can't focus.
  

• If you're 14+ but still want to get the most out of the show, watch the clips online. MTV runs a great website and their video section has just what you're looking for sans the annoying host and excessive build-up.
  

• Russell Brand is hosting the show this year. It's a kind of left field pick but this could work out for the better. It sure beats my favorite MTV hosting combo, Courtney Cox and Jon Lovitz. See how far we've come?!

• Kanye West is performing at the show tonight which means this could very well happen.
  

• Britney Spears may or may not be performing and I may or may not give a shit. I am just happy she appears to be taking care of herself now. Though like the rest of the viewing public, I'm still secretly hoping she falls flat on her face.
  

Photo: http://cyberextazy.files.wordpress.com/

Puppet Kanye West = Best. Character. Ever.

Kanye West loves music videos. He'll make two or three for the same song, just because he can. He's an artist you know? He's sensitive and what-not.

This time he dropped the BS and went straight for the comedy jugular: puppets.

It's beautiful. Here's the plot: Puppet Kanye is a track star in an Olympics-like competition. He wears little Nikes, he basket tosses on an American flag, he wears little Kanye shutter shades. It's adorable. You just want to hug him. Way more approachable than actual Kanye.

Check out the vid for yourself:


Kanye West "Champion Video" Official Directed by NEON from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

It's a shame MTV rarely plays videos anymore. Thank heavens for the internet and embeddable clips.