A Few Remarkable Things About Tonight's Emmys

• It ended on time, even a few minutes early. Though it got a little annoying towards the end with every presenter reminding people the show was running late and that their jokes were cut. Worse? The jokes that stayed weren't that good. Watching Rickey Gervais blow a few minutes on a good bit was well worth it though.
• Just what were the hosts there for? They didn't even open the show (thanks Oprah!) and they only appeared once or twice the rest of the night. If this show is going to have hosts then they need to do something. It should be their job to move the show long. Otherwise, skip the whole job altogether.
• Other than an excellent Cartman impression the only thing Josh Groban did tonight was prove his voice only works with one style of music.
• My picks were pretty off for the better part of the night. Bad for me but great for some folks who surprised the oddsmakers and took home the awards. I definitely tip my hat to Bryan Cranston who foiled Emmy pools nationwide for his best actor in a drama series win over "sure thing" Jon Hamm. Here's the thing...I called Bryan Cranston's win not once but twice right here on this blog. I really should've double checked this thing before submitting my list.
• I really enjoyed the way they incorporated mock sets from old television shows. What a fitting tribute to some great programs. (And did I mention it was great to see Martin Sheen again? I just watched the finale of West Wing on Bravo last week and I realized just how much I miss it.)
• How much do I love that Tina Fey took home the biggies tonight? Almost too much. She's truly remarkable. I still don't quite get why folks aren't watching 30 Rock.
  
• Other than Tina Fey, the biggest winner of the night? Don Rickles. Funniest guy on stage. We need to welcome Old Hollywood back for these things every year.
  
• The Laugh-In folks can stay at home though. Laugh-In is usually much funnier, too bad that's the impression most young people will be left with after tonight. Check some of it out at your local media library folks. It was great 40 years ago.
  
• And briefly: Best Dressed: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Worst Dressed: January Jones...Yikes!
• Want a list of all the winners? Check 'em out here.
  

I'm already chomping at the bit for next year. I suppose the Golden Globes will have to tide me over.

Really Following Through On That "Giving Big" Business

Pro-Bowl Tight End for the Kansas City Chiefs and Oprah's Big Give judge, Tony Gonazalez, solidified his status as resident good guy when he saved a stranger's life last week.

Apparently, Gonzalez was out to eat when he saw a man sputtering and turning blue. He leapt into action and performed the Heimlich maneuver, despite not having any formal training in the lifesaving procedure.

Mr. Modesty wasn't planning on the news of his heroism getting out. He didn't even tell some members of his family.

What a class act.

Oprah's probably going to eat this up!

Photo: Kansas City Chiefs

Hump Day Update

It's Wednesday and always there's too much to talk about. How was your hump day everybody?

• Top Chef finally got rid of my least favorite chef. I won't give it away, but let me just say: I'm glad he's gone mate.
  
  
• David Blaine broke the world record for holding your breath under water after breathing in pure oxygen for 25 minutes. Yes, the record is that specific. Apparently there are two types of records. One where you don't take in the pure oxygen and one where you do. Either way, you get the shakes, your heart goes funny and you look like a dumbass in a giant globe of water on the Oprah set. If SNL were new this week, they'd be having a field day.


• And in Idol chatter, one of my favorites, Brooke White, went home tonight. She wasn't going to win, but I did like her modesty, sincerity and every other week, her voice.
  


• Anyone else see Charlie Gibson fill in on Good Morning America this morning? His stint reminded me just how much I miss him at the desk. They played old clips of him all morning. My favorite was from a few years ago when Sam Champion was just filling in for Spencer Christian one day. The scene went something like this:

Robin: Thank you Sam. And yes America, Sam Champion is his real name.
Charlie: Really, that's your real name? Sam Third Place Finisher just doesn't have the same effect.

Charlie, feel free to come back to GMA anytime...seriously.

Hump Day Updates

Lots of little things to talk about today.

• These new Gossip Girl ads are steamy. People are getting this much ass in high school? I should've spent less time in forensics.
  

• I Tivo'ed Idol Gives Back tonight but I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. This is probably for the best seeing as it is probably the cheesiest 2.5 hours of television known to man...since this of course.

• It's official: I will watch Chris Hansen sting just about anybody.

• Dr. Oz is probably the only person in Oprah's posse who is intelligent and charismatic enough to get his own show. It's about time he steps out from under her cashmere wing. Maybe this one will actually be worth watching.
  
  
  

O-No!

Because OWN isn't scary enough, sculptor Daniel Edwards made this freaky piece called The Oprah Sarcophagus. She's curvy, she's bronze and she's nude. It's too much to bear and not necessarily a flattering depiction of Oprah. I'm sure she'll have Edwards. "taken care of" by the end of the week.

Soon She'll OWN You Too

Oprah is getting her own Oprah themed network. I wish I were joking.

The Oprah Winfrey Network, menacingly dubbed OWN, is coming to your TV (probably wrapped in a cashmere throw) in 2009. OWN will replace the Discovery Health Channel, which is currently available in over 65 Million homes.

Oprah gets full control of the content and creative direction of OWN and plans to focus on financial issues, spirituality, relationships and wellness. Essentially it's the magazine...but in HD!

The channel probably won't be any worse than most of the tripe on TV. And Oprah doesn't lend her name to bad stuff; for the most part. I'm reluctantly optimistic.

I bet she swims in a pool of coins like Scrooge McDuck.

My Favorite Thing Is The Screaming!

Oprah gave away a jillion dollars in gifts today on her annual Favorite Things episode. She traveled to Macon, Georgia for the special. Apparently, Macon boasts the largest concentrated Oprah viewership. At 4 PM everyday, 45% of TV sets in the city are tuned to that giant talking head.

But my opinions about Oprah aside, the woman knows how to throw a celebration. The most exciting part was the reveal. Have you seen hundreds of women and one sharp-dressed man go ape-shit nuts? I have.

Nothing says Christmas to me like loafing around eating baked goods. I'm glad Oprah finally figured that out.