The Trailer For The 24 Movie Looks Better Than Actual Movies

Hey you guys ever see that movie Shaft In Africa?

Yeah this 24 TV-movie is kind of like that...but with a bitter, middle-aged white guy.



I can't wait. Redemption should be awesome. Don't call international peace keepers in to do Jack Bauer's job. He can take care of this pesky genocide problem once and for all.

Aww Hell No!

The worst news I've heard all day:

Kim Bauer (played by mediocre actress Elisha Cuthbert), Jack Bauer's hapless, troublesome daughter is coming back for more torture on season 7 of 24.

Kim is the equivalent of a puppy running around your legs while you're trying to cook. The puppy trips you up, it begs constantly, it whimpers, and it makes you feel guilty when you don't put down the ladle and play with it. Why is this a problem? Because the spoon in this metaphor is a doomsday device or a nuclear football. Jack Bauer has enough on his mind without adding Kim and oh yeah, her baby to the mix.

GranPop Bauer (and the rest of the country) can't afford to be distracted.

Plus her storyline ran its course after she got chased by the bobcat.

Photo: 24-heaven.com

Guest Blog: Here We Go Again...Prison Break Season Premiere

Well, Fox has done it again. Getting a jump on all of the major networks fall lineups and showing the season 4 Prison Break premiere last night. The Break, as I like to call it, rarely disappoints and this premiere was no exception.

Sucre is still a fool for love, T-bag has already eaten his first human, Sarah returns with torture scars (veeerryy similar to Jack Bauer's scars in 24 Season 6) and of course "Linc" has put my Michael in a tough spot.....again. The gang is back together baby! But this time they will have to work as a unit to keep everyone out of jail.

The villains are new, including a bad ass black guy who apparently has no regard for human life. And of course big business is driving governmental decisions and actions (classic Break). The crew is really in for it this year and I think this could be the best season yet!

Quite frankly, my heart is already pounding in anticipation of next weeks episode.

How Much Would You Pay For A Bloody Shirt?

There was an auction of Sopranos wardrobe items in New York last week. The top-earner in said auction? A bowling-style shirt that the big man himself got shot in. So last week some Sopranophile forked over $43, 750 for an ugly shirt caked in fake blood.

Wow.

If you had the money, what memorabilia would you pay for? I'd pay for $15,000 for Michael Scott's desk. It would have to include all of the knick-knacks, flags, mugs, plaques and the like though.

As for wardrobe choices, I would pay a few hundred bucks for Jack Bauer's blue jeans in season six of 24. Dude wore those things out that year. I might also throw down a few grand to own Dangle's short-shorts from Reno 911. They probably smell like ass though. Literally.

Photo: Yahoo! News

News Round-Up!

Sorry for the lack of posts folks. The internet is down so I'm writing from the Student Union. I feel very collegiate.

Let's do a news round-up to get back in the swing of things shall we?

• Everyone is still reeling over the loss of Tim Russert. His empty chair during yesterday's Meet The Press spoke volumes. His son Luke spoke to Matt Lauer on The Today Show this morning. Luke's passion will be a fitting living tribute of his father's best work.
  

• Got an idea for a reality show? This is your chance to get it on the air...seriously!

• Gawker put together a collection of the best Family Guy news clips. These are the last vestiges of what used to be a very funny TV show.
  

• Angelina Jolie's papa, Jon Voight, was just cast as the villain on the next season of 24. Here's hoping he just reprises his role as Coach Kilmer from Varsity Blues.
  

• The Office spin-off is moving forward...for better or worse...and the first cast member was announced last week. Aziz Ansari is a great comedian best known for his work on MTV's Human Giant. You can check out Ansari's personal site here.
  

• And in case you missed this last week (sorry if edubTV is your only source of TV news), Tila Tequila thinks her ridiculous show garnered awareness for the LGBT community in California, thus pushing the civil-union decision forward. There are no words for just how ridiculous that is.
  

Best. Picture. Ever.

Thank you TV Addict for providing me with this giant photo of the 24 season 7 cast. Cue oggling.

The first things I noticed:

1. It's nice Janeane Garofolo can turn shlubby on and off.
2. Where are the CTU agents/political figures of color?
3. Love the fact that Jack is the only one wearing jeans. You'd think he'd switch to tear-away pants by now for maximum flexibility.

24: The Movie!

Since the Writers Strike put the kibosh on 24 this season, fans are left without schematics, PDAs, and explosions for another 10 months... or are we?

24's producers are working on a prequel to the 7th season that will air as a two-hour movie this fall. Everyone wins with this scenario.

• The producers keep top of mind awareness.
  
• The audince gets to see what happens in the two years between season 6 and 7 (literally and in the diegetic world)
• I get to take a sneak peak at what fitted piece of clothing Jack will wear this time around.
  

Strike Babies!

Two of my favorites actresses recently announced that they're preggers.

Mary Lynn Rajskyb (That's Rice-Cub) of 24 fame is due at the end of the summer. I hope she has a girl and names it Terry Schematic Rajskyb. That would be a fitting tribute. Chloe is what Rajskyb is known for, but her role as the female lead in Kirk's short film on Gilmore Girls is why she'll always have a special place in my heart.



Beating Rasjskub to the punch is Angela Martin, Angela on The Office. She's due in May and if The Office is coming back this spring with a few episodes, it will be interesting to see how they cover that up. I know they did it on Seninfeld, Cosby and other programs, but Angela is really short and very thin. She's going to need to hold a really big cardboard box all the time.

Some Thoughts Post-Terminator

Below are notes I made while watching  Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. 

• Why do Sarah (Lena Headey) and her son John (Thomas Dekker) look more like brother and sister? Could they find someone more age appropriate? When John, Sarah and Cameron (Summer Glau) show up naked in 2007. John ogles his mother a little too long. Creepy doesn't begin to describe it. 

• Lena Headey seems incredibly one-dimensional, almost lifeless in this show. I understand that she's at the end of her rope, but it's just too much. She has so much range and it would have been nice to see it. She shined in Imagine Me And You. Let's hope she is allowed to stretch a little on Terminator. 

• Sarah's boyfriend is a dead ringer for Dennis, (Dean Winter) Liz Lemon's slouchy ex from 30 Rock. 

• If a shooter with a robot leg came into a high school and shot it up, wouldn't more people care to look for him? No one has a CNN chopper on this guy? It's supposed to be 1999. With Columbine still fresh, I feel like that would be quite the news story.

Just a few things. Despite some of the ridiculousness, lazy acting and general impossibilities, the show is kind of cool. It's at least as good as the shitty seasons of 24, if not better. The two-night premiere continues tomorrow. If you missed it tonight, seriously consider watching it tomorrow. 

Run For Money is Going To Run My Life

Necessity begets innovation and this new reality show is no exception.

Sci-Fi's Run For Money is going to be my new favorite program as it combines 24 and Legends of the Hidden Temple.

50 people are unleashed in fancy locations and compete against each other in challenges for cash and prizes. However, they are being relentlessly pursued by "hunters" who are trying to take them out of the game. The contestants get money every second they stay alive and can walk-away at any point. If they don't and they're attacked by a hunter then they lose everything.

The challenges are an hour long and the show is in real-time, adding to the intensity. As the hour ticks by the playing field gets smaller and more hunters come out. The last person standing gets the grand prize.

This show is going to be like crack for me. Challenges, hunters, frayed nerves, glamorous locations, fierce temple guards...err hunters, and people who don't know when to quit.

Let's just hope there's no shrine of the silver monkey. Otherwise these people are dead in the water.

24 Things Kiefer Sutherland Can Do In Jail

Kiefer Sutherland was sentenced to 48 days in jail today and he started serving his time immediately.

In case Kief gets some online time in the clink, I've come up with 24 things he (or Jack Bauer) can occupy his time with.

1. Make friends with cell mate. Watch him get killed like everyone else close to Jack Bauer.
   
2. Make prank phone calls to Chuck Norris in a desperate attempt to neutralize number one threat.
   
3. Re-think Phone Booth. Why Kiefer why?
4. Hang up picture of Jennifer Aniston in solidarity.
   
5. Take time to read...better scripts.
   
6. Finally get a meal and some sleep.
   
7. Yell for schematics of the jail. Escape in an amazing Prison Break/24 cross-promotion.
   
8. Find Jesus. Interrogate him for information.
   
9. Refer to everyone as Chloe.
   
10. Avenge the death of David Palmer.
    
11. Found Canadian gang, the Canuckle Sandwiches.
    
12. Write letters to Charlie Sheen. Ask him to send Young Guns on VHS for street cred.
    
13. Get memorial tattoo of Curtis, Terri and Tony Almeda.
    
14. Book that band you manage for a show at the dining hall.
    
15. Mediate the Writers Strike by any means necessary. Pain serum may be necessary.
    
16. Carve shank out of Golden Globe.
    
17. Trade Emmy for cigarettes and toilet wine
18. Pitch pilot to Fox: Dancing Behind Bars.
    
19. Fashion well fitting jeans and long-sleeve thermal tee out of prison jumper
    
20. Prepare motivational cliches and anecdotes for late night talk shows upon release
21. Hope that they let you go after 84 minutes too.
    
22. Start writing memoir. Stop halfway when you realize you are in fact not Jack Bauer.
    
23. Fix the flawed BCS system by challenging the top 10 teams to an arm wrestling match
24. Get sober.
    

Who Likes Padma That Much?

On my way into work this morning a car in front of me had a vanity plate that said:

TOPCHEF

Now this can mean a number of things.

• Either Harold, Ilan or Hung had taken residence in Nashville
• The best chefs on the show, Sam and Trey, decided to have a personal victory and get a personalized plate
  
• There was a super-fan in my midst

I bobbed and weaved to get closer and inspect the bumper stickers. They had some from the Young Chefs Academy and one for a local mayoral candidate. My guess is they're just a moderately creative chef.

But the whole thing got me to thinking. What shows do I love enough to permanently stick to the back of my car. I have a vanity plate and deciding what to pick was difficult because you know people are constantly trying to judge you/ decipher it from behind.

I think my only options would be odes to 24 and The Office.

CTU
DUNDIES

Because honestly, is there anything else on TV worth getting rear ended for?

Writers Strike: Day 5

• For once, Jack Bauer needs some help. (First, with the pose above.) Second, the 7th season premier has been postponed indefinitely thanks to the strike. They have a few episodes completed, but Fox doesn't want to stop suddenly, especially with the fanatical 24 fans. On the bright side, this will give Kiefer Sutherland some much needed time to serve out his jail sentence.
  

• The frontrunning Democratic Presidential nominees (Clinton, Obama & Edwards) are all backing WGA. My guess is, they want to ensure good lines the next time they go on Saturday Night Live.

• John August lead a campaign for film screenwriters to put down their pencils as well and stop working on screenplays. This could have a serious effect on 2009 blockbusters. They took out an ad and hundreds signed their name to it. This "Not a Page" initiative is really going to shake things up.