Montana Pens Memoir For Mucho Moola

Chew on this:

Pop Princess Miley Cyrus signed a seven-figure book deal today with the Disney Book group. That's right, a 15-year-old entertainer who probably couldn't pass the English AP test will earn at least a million dollars to composing her memoir. 

I'm sure the book will be a best-seller when it's released in 2009 and the investment is well worth it for Disney. Plus it may be interesting to hear about this rising star's hectic life, especially if she actually delves in to some of the challenges and misconceptions about fame. 

But still. Seven figures? Is anyone else a little sad their parents never enrolled them in voice lessons?

Are We Just Bearing Witness To Miley Cyrus' Genius?

Miley Cyrus ate few ounces of ketchup on Leno last night. The video described it as chugging, but it's closer to a long squirt than the maple syrup shenanigans from Super Troopers.

I wonder how the PR Machine at Disney will spin this. Does this show that Miley is a daredevil...of the tame variety? Does it show she's just a kid who likes to have fun? Or maybe she just enjoys ketchup.

I don't know what you're up to Miley Cyrus, but you're a teen queen of the best kind. You sing to sold out crowds, you have your own television show, you present at The Oscars and you drink condiments on late night talk shows. How do you do it? How do you do it?

While My TV Gently Weeps

Tickets to see Hannah Montana, (played by Achy Breaky offspring and not-preggers Miley Cyrus), live in concert are sold out across the country. One ticket to a show in North Carolina recently sold for over $2,500, causing the VP of the tour company to claim the hysteria over Miley and the "Best of Both Worlds" tour is " like the Beatles."

Yeah...no.

I don't care how fast your tickets sell out or how much greedy soccer moms sell them for on eBay. Until your albums are timeless, or you effect change through a few chord changes and simple ditties, or at least until you do a lot of drugs and grow a beard...you are not like the Beatles. Don't even bring bring them up for comparison.