Obama Takes Over Your TV

Barack Obama shelled out some major bucks and purchased a half hour of airtime on CBS and NBC to run a half-hour infomercial on his campaign, his life, etc. The special will run on Wednesday, October 29.

This is a really expensive venture (each slot costs about $2 Mil) and rumor has it he may have enough money in the coffer to buy time on Fox and ABC too.

But the best news of the night? Obama's special will pre-empt Jay Mohr's latest shitshow Gary Unmarried. Womp, Womp.

Photo: http://www.rockunion.ie/

Amazing Race Flies High

Amazing Race won the Emmy for Best Reality Competition Program last night for the 6th time in a row. (Anyone else think it's sad Phil Keoghan didn't get nominated for best host? He runs circles around Howie Mandel.)

Anyway, the win really amped me up for season 13 of the show. In a really cool promotional effort, CBS placed advertisements for the upcoming season on rooftops of buildings near the Los Angeles airport so travelers can see them from airplanes. It's apparently the "first-ever aerial view network billboards," according to a statement released by the network.

CBS is also advertising the new season on printable e-tickets so every flyer can join in on the fun.

Can't wait for lucky number 13 to begin!

Photo: TVGuide.com

Everybody Hates Cancer & Televised TMI Moments

Pro: The Big 4 Networks (sans raunchy kid brother Fox) are teaming up next Friday to simulcast Stand Up To Cancer. The event is one hour of commercial free programming devoted to raising money for cancer research and organizations that help patients and families of those fighting the disease. TV and film actors, musicians and other famous types are appearing during the show. It should be quite the spectacle.

Con: Everybody Loves Raymond star Brad Garrett is rumored to be getting a prostate exam live during the event. In a word: Yikes.

Photo: standup2cancer.org

I Don't Watch CSI But Apparently This Is Big News

The grizzly looking guy above (William Petersen) is leaving the show.

Q. What will we do without poorly timed puns and dramatic pauses?


A. Tune to CSI Miami.

Ba-Dum Ching!


Photo: The Remote Island

Big Brother Bounces Back

My entire family was really into Big Brother a few summers ago. It's not our proudest moment. To our credit, the show used to be kind of interesting. There were twins playing as one person, a brother/sister combo that didn't know they were brother and sister, etc. It was low-brow, high-fun TV.

Then it just got bad.

I left Big Brother behind and never really thought twice about it.

Last night, I thought twice. I watched the season premiere of Big Brother 10. For the first time in a few years there are no pre-existing relationships on the show, no crazy secrets, etc. Just a bunch of people living in a house with hundreds of cameras and wacky challenges.

BB is also a little different this year because the folks over at CBS are finally discovering that this show succeeds or fails because of the cast members. They're diversifying from their usual suspects of 20-something muscle heads and blonde bartenders. There are a few more middle-aged people in the house and even a super old guy named Jerry (pictured in his old-timey workshop). How old? "He fought in the Korean war and he has great-grandchildren," old.

So between Jerry, some annoying middle aged woman with a jackal's laugh named Renny and some great alliances already in place I may just give Big Brother 10 a fighting chance. Will I watch 3 times a week? Probably not but getting me to come back once or twice is a pretty big step.


Photo: CBS.com

Our Post Strike America

CBS had its first new Monday night comedy block since before the writers strike. They were competing with Fox dramas, reality heavyweights (The Bachelor and Dancing With The Stars) on ABC and a whole host of new reality on cable.

Well see the official results tomorrow but I am curious as to how these shows will stack up in a post-strike TV community. Will people welcome their "old friends" back into to their own with open arms or will there be a kind of backlash. Have we moved on? Was 100 days just long enough for you to jump on the reality bandwagon? Or even worse, turn off the TV all together?

CBS came out swinging tonight, but I am crossing my fingers that they don't strike out.

Can Britney Save Barney?

Britney Spears is doing a guest spot on How I Met Your Mother. This is not the first time Britney's tested the acting waters. Everyone remembers the cinematic marvel that was...Crossroads and her surprisingly funny guest appearance on Will & Grace.

HIMYM (Him-Yim for the abbreviation inclined) is in dire straits. The show finally found a small but reliable fan base and an enviable time slot but it's enough. It's almost April and the show still hasn't been picked up for a 4th season. Will Britney bring enough clout to keep this comedy afloat?

I don't want to put all my eggs in Britney's basket (who knows where its been?) but her guest spot may be HIMYM's last hope. The episode airs March 24.

What Gives?

I have to admit I really liked Oprah's Big Give. Not only did it make me feel warm and fuzzy inside but it was really "fun" to watch. I throw that in quotes because not all TV is fun. Some makes you think, some makes you cry, some make you laugh. This was different. While I watched, I was sincerely enjoying myself. (It might have just been from watching Nate Berkus)

Anyway, the show got great numbers for its series premiere and tomorrow will be a test of its staying power. With Oprah at the helm, the show will undoubtedly be a success; but I am proposing it will do one better.

You heard it here first: I think Oprah's Big Give will unseat Amazing Race as the Emmy winner for Outstanding Reality-Competition Program. Amazing Race has won the honor all five times it's been awarded. But for the first time, there really will be a race for the win...and it's going to be a dead heat.

Hot Hot Heat - Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!

The producers of Big Brother are just as sleazy and gross as you think they are. Apparently, the house won't have air conditioning this year, so the contestants (all single this time) will be more inclined to take off their clothes.

I wish I were making this up. There are some days when it's really hard to be a TV fan. I've been laughed at, called lazy, and suffered through two years as a Com Arts major with film geeks judging my choice of medium the whole time. The producers of Big Brother are not making my fandom any easier. Television shows are like a loaf of bread. If one slice goes bad, the whole thing gets thrown out (unless you're cheap or courageous). Please producers. Stop this. We can all do better.

Hump Day Updates

So much to talk about. Let's get right to it.

• Kid Nation ended tonight. It was kind of a sad episode. I am ashamed to admit it, but I shed a few tears. Not only when the kids saw their parents for the first time in 40 days, but at the end when I realized the show may not come back for a second season. So upsetting. We'll always have Jared.
  

• Though I am sad to leave Bonanza City, I already have a reality show replacement: Crowned. So awesomely bad. The show is about mother/daughter pairs competing for a pageant title and $100,000. I could've written 1000 words on tonight's pilot episode alone. This episode, each pair had to make up a team name. One team called themselves the Blonde Bombshells, others the Diamond Dolls. But one team decided to go with Silent But Deadly. Supposedly they didn't know that is also a laugh-inducing euphemism. Carson Kressley of Queer Eye fame is one of the judges and he provides some comic relief. It's like watching Cirque De Soleil; I am mesmerized by how awful it is.
  

• TV shows have trailers now. I don't like this trend, but that's a whole 'nother story. The trailer for season 4 of Lost made its way around the blogosphere today. Since I have until February, I might try to catch up on the second half of season 3 and give the show another chance. With the writer's strike going strong, I won't have much else to watch anyway.
  

• Regis Philbin is set to host a re-make of the series Password. Because 25 versions of the show just aren't enough.

• Chris March is back on Project Runway. All is right with the world.
  

Hump Day Updates

• There is just no excuse not to be watching Kid Nation. If these out of context quotations don't do anything for you then I'm out of ideas. Read some other blog.
  
• " Pelvis has left the building."
• " Those aren't igloos dude those are teepees."
  

• TLC is taking Pageant Place to the next level. On Miss America: Reality Check, all 52 Ms. America contestants are going to live in one house to see if their " smarts, attitudes and looks hold up in contemporary society." The ladies will participate in challenges and events leading up to the finale event. Even with Michael Urie (Ugly Betty) hosting, I think it's for the best this show is only four weeks long.
  

• Over the past two nights I've discovered I want to eventually find a guy whose personality is the combination of Yukon Cornelius and Dell from Private Practice. Yukon is obvious. Who else will slay abominable snowmen who get in my way? Dell is a recent discovery though. Tonight, he finally confessed his love for Naomi and it was so adorable. Too bad he confessed it to her ex-husband.
  
• " You know how many women think like that, and look like that, and laugh like that and care? One. So far I've met one. And yeah, she's out of my league in every possible way. But I don't care. She dazzles me. And I'm not stupid enough to hope that one day I'll meet someone like her when the time is right because I won't. I love her. Okay? And I guarantee you-I wouldn't make her cry."

Cue the swooning.

• An anti-whaling group named their boat Steve Irwin. Bindi Irwin had this to say before she was dragged to her next appearance.
  

Dexter Vacations on CBS

I'm a little peeved about this.

Thanks to the strike, CBS is plucking content from their sister network Showtime, re-purposing it and airing it on the broadcast network. Dexter is the first to make the jump, which is no surprise considering the popularity of CBS' other crime dramas. The Tudors and Weeds are also being considered for primetime spots.

This is actually kind of genius on Showtime's part. These shows are brand new to most of the country. CBS will be the premier destination for "new" drama, when everyone else will be airing re-runs, game shows, or worse. Plus, when people watch Dexter and get hooked (because it's impossible not to) and the writers strike comes to an end, they'll be more likely to order Showtime. Their subscriptions are going to skyrocket.

So why am I peeved? I finally understand what people who bought the iPhone early felt like. No fair! I paid extra for those premium channels and now they're just giving it all away. It just seems a little wrong.

I guess you can't stop progress. It will be interesting to see how they edit Dexter for time and content. They'll have to cut 10 minutes out of every episode. That might even be enough to get me to watch them again.

Damn. I've been swayed already.

Shows I Wish I Cared About

Sometime's it's lonely at the ground floor. I just didn't think certain shows would last, so I let them go on without me. Now everyone is tuning in and I'm stuck with re-runs of Fresh Prince. Here are a few that I'm thinking of this morning:

• Dancing With The Stars - Z-List celebrities cha-cha their way to back to relevancy. I should have believed the commercials. They told me it was a hit show all around the world. You know what else was a hit all around the world? Communism. That didn't last too long. Who knew people loved this stuff?


• CSI & all of its ideations - I watched a few episodes of CSI, but once it split off into Miami, I thought it was done for. Pish-posh! The show took off like a motorboat filled with cocaine. Now Jessie Spano is showing up as Horatio's ex-wife. Just don't call her a chick!


• The newest version of Battlestar Galactica: Shocking, I know. But I hear it's one of the best shows on television. Caprica? Thirteenth Colony? It's all Cylon to me. Plus Dwight Shrute is a fan and he knows fun.


• The Tudors - Sex, killing, accents, old-timey clothes. What's not to like? I may try to catch up with this one on On Demand. Plus, I feel like Jonathan Rhys Meyers has something to prove after August Rush. Make it reign dude!

Writers Strike: Day 10

Tonight's Bad Ass Writer of the Day Award goes to David Letterman. He's planning to pay his entire staff until the end of the year out of his own pocket. CBS stopped paying the crew on the 5th of November.

This almost makes me want to watch Late Night. Too bad it's in reruns!

Strike humor has yet to get old.

I think it will tomorrow when the last new episode of The Office plays. Don't call me after 8:30, I will be sobbing heavily.

Why Did I Pick Now To Start Caring About The People's Choice Awards?

The People's Choice Award ballots are online now. Normally I don't care about these awards because I've noticed when we let people decide what they like, bad things happen. (Ever wonder why Two And A Half Men is still on? People actually watch it!) But since I am a part of the cultural conversation, I decided to cast my votes. And this way I can bitch when awful shows win.

Here's who I voted for in assorted categories:

• Favorite TV Comedy: My shows to choose from included The King Of Queens, My Name Is Earl and Two And a Half Men. The worst part? I wrote the above comment without seeing this ballot. Nobody wins with this award show.
  

• Favorite Female TV Star: Nominees include Katherine Heigl, Sally Field and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Are they even serious? I'm voting for Sally Field. With any luck she'll win and we'll finally get to hear the end of her speech.
  

• Favorite Scene Stealing Star: I'm not even going to tell you the nominees. Just know that the best choice was Chandra Wilson from Grey's. If you've seen that show lately, you know the competition must have been weak.
  

Zowee. I may watch the results, just to see how all of this shakes out. Plus Queen Latifah is hosting and she's a class act. Maybe she can save this show from itself.

Amazing Race Is Back

The 12th season of Amazing Race premiered tonight and so far the pairs are the best ones yet. 

My favorites:

• Nicolas & Donald (Grandson/Grandpa) The Grandpa swears and looks tough. He's like Cotton from King of the Hill...only friendly and with all of his limbs. 
• Ronald & Cristina (Dad/Daughter) These two remind me of my father and I. Ronald is calm and even keeled...but he also sports a pullover that says "Who's Your Daddy." Cristina is just trying to cherish every moment she has left with her dad. He's only 60 but she speaks like he's on his deathbed. 
• Kate & Pat (Married Ministers) They're Episcopal clergy and Amazing Race's first lesbian couple. Quote of the night, " Don't expect us to be wimps for Jesus." I hope they can win it all.

What pair am I already sick of? Brother and Sister Azaria & Hendekea. You can tell they've seen too many seasons of Amazing Race. They borrow laptops, they order taxis, they freak out when they miss flights, they start alliances one hour after meeting people. It kind of ruins the spirit of the show. I liken it to someone studying fire building and spearfishing before going on Survivor. It may be smart, but that's not what you're there for. 

I'll end with another quote from our favorite ministers:

"The Amazing Race is a love letter to the planet. This beauty of this Earth comes from God and we get the chance to sort of hopscotch around it and love it. Ya know? What a gift."

Turning Back The Clock

Daylight Savings Time ended very early this morning. Don't forget to push those clocks back. I just did a small dance in my kitchen after discovering that I had only wasted a few hours of my morning. Now I get a freebie and I'm giving part of it to edubTV. 

The time change made me think. If I were given one extra hour a day to watch TV, what new show or shows would I pick up? I probably would become a closet OC fan. I never got into it, I've never even seen a full episode, but judging from my love of other to-old-to-be-teen dramas (Dawson's Creek, Gilmore Girls) I think it would find a nice home on my season pass list. 

Or, if I could turn back the clock and get into a series from the beginning, I probably would've committed more time to How I Met Your Mother. Supposedly it's very sharp and the funniest thing on CBS since Armed & Famous. I don't want to be a fair-weather fan, so I think I'll just sit it out and wait until it goes into syndication. 

But today I get one more hour. My do-over. My freebie. How am I spending it? Watching Cavemen. I'm not going to let another thing slip by me again. 

What Happens In Laughlin, Sucks.

Why am I not surprised?

Viva Laughlin: Not So Much

CBS' new musical-drama Viva Laughlin, starring Hugh Jackman, premiered last night. If you've never heard of it, it's like Cop Rock meets Las Vegas. The best part? The whole is worse than the sum of its parts. No seriously, I'd rather eat my weight in the lukewarm, fuzzy pasta gracing every buffet in Laughlin than ever watch this show again.

A few reasons why:

• I'm 24 minutes in and I have no clue what's going on.
  
• The characters sing. This wouldn't be bad except the original vocals are heard loud and clear. It's like an awful duet, or listening to someone sing with the radio.
  
• The acting is worse than...well anything else on TV. High School Musical 2 was more compelling.
  
• Melanie Griffith. Yikes.
  
• Viva Loughlin, a variety show starring Lori Loughlin, (Aunt Becky from Full House) would have blown this show out of the water.
  

I like musicals and Hugh Jackman. The combination of the two is unstoppable. This was just executed poorly. In case we didn't learn from Coupling, not every BBC show can make the leap across the pond.

The Price Is Wrong Bitch!

It's difficult following a man many people grew up with. Bob Barker was warm, paternal in a non-creepy way, and above all sincere. He lasted so long because as much as people wanted to be on the show to win prizes, they also just wanted to be in his presence. The show is kind of boring, the games are classic but not timeless, and the prizes are about as exciting as a sack lunch. Bob Barker was the reason we cared.

Needless to say, Drew Carey has a tough act to follow. Instead of making the show his own, he is going the safe route and just trying to maintain tradition. While he does a fine job, we don't get to see what makes his spark. Carey's humor is dry, quick and pointed. Today's episode left holes for perfect jokes, but he didn't move. It was like watching a snake ignore a bunny with a broken leg.

For example. A crazy lady comes out of contestant row and freaks out. I mean seriously freaks out. The best part? She has a weird nasal, obnoxious laugh/cry and she can't control it. Carey makes no remark. Fine, maybe ripping on the contestants is too pointed for the second show. But when she finds out she's playing Plinko, she reveals a not-so secret fact to Carey.

"Ahh, I have to go potty."

What does he say? What perfect quip does he have up his sleeve?

"Well you have to play plink-o before you go to the bathroom-o."

Where is Drew Carey? He could've said so many things. Anything really.

• Well, don't pee on the chips.
• Try to contain your excitement.
• If only you were guessing the price of Depends

No. He caved. I appreciate his effort to toe the line. But Carey's not going to last 30 years if he doesn't carve out a name for himself. For crying out loud, the announcer got better jokes in. Show some balls Drew! Or did Bob Barker have you neutered before he left?