Obama Takes Over Your TV

Barack Obama shelled out some major bucks and purchased a half hour of airtime on CBS and NBC to run a half-hour infomercial on his campaign, his life, etc. The special will run on Wednesday, October 29.

This is a really expensive venture (each slot costs about $2 Mil) and rumor has it he may have enough money in the coffer to buy time on Fox and ABC too.

But the best news of the night? Obama's special will pre-empt Jay Mohr's latest shitshow Gary Unmarried. Womp, Womp.

Photo: http://www.rockunion.ie/

The Trailer For The 24 Movie Looks Better Than Actual Movies

Hey you guys ever see that movie Shaft In Africa?

Yeah this 24 TV-movie is kind of like that...but with a bitter, middle-aged white guy.



I can't wait. Redemption should be awesome. Don't call international peace keepers in to do Jack Bauer's job. He can take care of this pesky genocide problem once and for all.

Premieres! Premieres! Premieres!

There's a lot of TV on tonight and frankly I don't want you to miss out.

- First, the show we've all been waiting for with baited breath has finally arrived. Hole In The Wall premieres tonight on Fox at 8/7c. To say I am a little giddy about all of this is an understatement. It's people trying to fit through a hole in a giant wall careening towards them. Honestly? It's pure entertainment.

-The boys on Entourage are back tonight for their 5th season premiere. I will probably catch this but I'm willing to hold out for On Demand. If it's not good from the start, I'm officially giving up. See the ep for yourself tonight at 10/9c on HBO.

-And to get you pumped for your favorite show about celebrities, HBO decided to launch their new show about vampires. True Blood is not something I'd normally enjoy but the premise looks pretty appealing. The show takes place in small-town Louisiana town. Thanks to the miracles of science, vampires can drink synthetic blood and leave the humans alone. This means they can co-exist among the living without causing too much of a stir. Too bad the humans are still a little weary about having their former predators walking the streets again. A waitress in the small town is sympathetic to the vampires' plight, as she too is kind of wack-a-doodle and can hear people's thoughts. It sounds weird but this is pretty much HBO's last grenade in the war against Showtime. Let's hope it doesn't blow up in their faces. True Blood comes on at 9/8c.

Aww Hell No!

The worst news I've heard all day:

Kim Bauer (played by mediocre actress Elisha Cuthbert), Jack Bauer's hapless, troublesome daughter is coming back for more torture on season 7 of 24.

Kim is the equivalent of a puppy running around your legs while you're trying to cook. The puppy trips you up, it begs constantly, it whimpers, and it makes you feel guilty when you don't put down the ladle and play with it. Why is this a problem? Because the spoon in this metaphor is a doomsday device or a nuclear football. Jack Bauer has enough on his mind without adding Kim and oh yeah, her baby to the mix.

GranPop Bauer (and the rest of the country) can't afford to be distracted.

Plus her storyline ran its course after she got chased by the bobcat.

Photo: 24-heaven.com

Guest Blog: Here We Go Again...Prison Break Season Premiere

Well, Fox has done it again. Getting a jump on all of the major networks fall lineups and showing the season 4 Prison Break premiere last night. The Break, as I like to call it, rarely disappoints and this premiere was no exception.

Sucre is still a fool for love, T-bag has already eaten his first human, Sarah returns with torture scars (veeerryy similar to Jack Bauer's scars in 24 Season 6) and of course "Linc" has put my Michael in a tough spot.....again. The gang is back together baby! But this time they will have to work as a unit to keep everyone out of jail.

The villains are new, including a bad ass black guy who apparently has no regard for human life. And of course big business is driving governmental decisions and actions (classic Break). The crew is really in for it this year and I think this could be the best season yet!

Quite frankly, my heart is already pounding in anticipation of next weeks episode.

Everybody Hates Cancer & Televised TMI Moments

Pro: The Big 4 Networks (sans raunchy kid brother Fox) are teaming up next Friday to simulcast Stand Up To Cancer. The event is one hour of commercial free programming devoted to raising money for cancer research and organizations that help patients and families of those fighting the disease. TV and film actors, musicians and other famous types are appearing during the show. It should be quite the spectacle.

Con: Everybody Loves Raymond star Brad Garrett is rumored to be getting a prostate exam live during the event. In a word: Yikes.

Photo: standup2cancer.org

Free Association: The New American Idol Judge

In case edubTV is your only source of TV news, (my apologies BTW), you may not have heard that there's a new full-time American Idol judge joining Paula, Randy and Simon. Her name is Kara Dioguardi and she's a songwriter by trade and also Senior Vice-President of A&R at Warner Brothers.

According to my favorite speedy research tool Wikipedia, her songs have been recorded by some heavy hitters (Santana, Faith Hill, and Celine Dion) and some not-so-heavy-hitters (Ashlee Simpson! Ouch!)

A lot of thoughts came to mind when I heard the news about the 4th judge. Instead of trying to articulate tonight, I thought I would just give myself 60 seconds to jot down some notes. Piece them together as you wish. And your time starts....now:

• Paula = Pill Popper/ Kara = Not Pill Popper
• How will they sit?
• Will I still be a Randy? Or will I be a Kara?
• Has she been on auditions?
• Is there room for a 4th person behind the table?
• Do you have to get three votes to move on now?
• If Seacrest has to ask one more person what they thought, won't that make the show even longer?
• She looks like Katherine McPhee
  
• I miss Dunkleman.
  

And stop. I wish I could've ended on a thought better than Brian Dunkleman.

Photo: LA Times

A Reality TV Analogy

Drag Queen night on Project Runway : Broadway Night on American Idol

What's with these shows this season? Week after week you berate your contestants for making their clothes too costume-y, too drag queen-y and then you give them an entire Drag Queen challenge? The same thing happened on Idol this season during Andrew Lloyd Weber night. It just doesn't make sense.

On a positive note, it is wonderful to see Chris March again. I miss his laugh and wacky style.

That's my two cents.

Photo: NYCblog.Citysearch.com

Tony Snow Dies

Former Fox News Correspondent and White House Press Secretary Tony Snow passed away today after a second battle with colon cancer.

Snow worked for the elder President Bush as a speech writer and in other roles in the media affairs department.

He hosted his own show on Fox in the early '90s before joining Fox News in 1996. He anchored Fox News Sunday and hosted The Tony Snow Show, a syndicated program on Fox news radio.

He faced his first bout with colon cancer in February 2005 but it went into remission after six months of treatment.

Snow replaced former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan in the spring of 2006. He combined his skills as a journalist and politico and seemed to excel at the position.
When the cancer returned in spring 2007, Snow stayed positive. He continued to work until September when he left the White House to find a new position.

Tony Snow is survived by his wife and three children. He was 53-years-old.


Photo: ChicagoTribune.com

Wipeout...My Thoughts Exactly

I caught wind of ABC's latest television offering, Wipeout, last night and saw the sad and unfortunate future of broadcast television starring me in the face. People running through a muddy obstacle course, bouncing off giant rubber balls, getting spun around like a washing machine then trying to race for a prize, and all of this with commentary provided by two dudes who may in fact be the most uncharismatic hosts in history. (Was Roger Lodge not available?)

Wipeout crossed the very thin border between novelty and ludicrous. If it got good ratings last night, expect to see a lot more where that came from.

But don't let this diatribe fool you...I'm still kind of geeked out about Hole In The Wall.

Human Tetris? Come on! Even I know fun when it slaps me in the face.

Photo: KPIC - Oregon

Arrested Development Movie Is On!

Speaking of cult shows I enjoyed, Jason Bateman confirmed the Arrested Development movie is on and will hit theaters next year.

Can you see it?

That's me smiling from ear to ear.

Suck it Sex & The City. This a TV show that needs some closure.

Photo: Blog Cavenger

George Carlin, Dead At 71

George Carlin, passed away last night at the age of 71. He was an iconic comedian, rebel rouser, and resident smart ass.

I was too young to appreciate his seven words debacle, his stint as the first-ever SNL host, or his early stand-up. My introduction to George Carlin came in 1994 during the run of his short lived Fox sitcom, The George Carlin Show. It only had 12 episodes but it was raunchy and crass...especially since I was only 8.

A few years later I discovered that Carlin was the narrator and Mr. Conductor on one of my favorite shows, Thomas The Tank Engine & Friends. Who knew such an old rowdy guy could find a place among a whole new generation of fans?

He'll certainly be missed.


Photo: Associated Press

Cleveland Rocks!

I watched the trailer for the new Family Guy spin-off The Cleveland Show this afternoon. You can take a peak as well right here.

I can't really tell which characters are real and which were just Family Guy inspired jokes. Will Cleveland really live next door to a family of bears? Am I an idiot for asking? Am I supposed to understand how the Seth McFarland universe works or just accept it?

But you know what saved the whole thing? The little ditty Cleveland sang at the end. I don't know if it's the theme song, but if anything from this ridiculous trailer gets kept, that's it.

I'm cautiously optimistic. I will root for this show because:

1. That damn song is so catchy.
2. I always liked Cleveland.
3. I support shows with strong minority leads. If I have to take them animated form, then so be it.

Really? No It's Fine I'm Just Surprised Is All

As of tomorrow, David Cook will own 11 spots on the Billboard Hot 100. He is the first artist ever (at least in the Nielsen Soundscan era) to debut 11 songs in the same week.

Pros:

• Archuleta doesn't have 11 songs on the Top 100.
• After a rocky season, American Idol proves it can still pack a punch.
• Cook seems like a nice guy, he's a fun performer.
  

Cons:

• We've got 100 spots to take the current pulse of popular music. David Cook owns 11 of them.
  

Even Idol fans might admit that's overkill...actually they probably wouldn't.

Hump Day Updates

• My least favorite "chef" on Hell's Kitchen sliced off the tip of his thumb in a cooking related fiasco. Gosh that guy is a tool.
  

• Did anyone else know Kristen Davis, Charlotte of Sex and the City fame, is a recovering alcoholic? She's been sober for years apparently so those Cosmos were probably just raspberry lemonades. Chances are, she quit cold turkey after this.
  

• Tonight's American Idol results are the first step to restoring the international community's faith in America.
  

• I saw an "exclusive engagement" (their words not mine) of the new Indiana Jones movie tonight. It was a great movie, full of fun, surprises and action. Too many corny special effects but I'm no movie blogger. The biggest surprise of the night was the excellent performance by Shia LaBeouf. He was genuine, witty and surprisingly realistic as a 1950s greaser. Who knew the happy-go-lucky kid from Even Stevens would end up side by side with Indiana Jones? I wonder what happened to Ren?

My Two Cents On The Idol Finale

For the good of the contest, music, and the remaining months of a boy's childhood, I am rooting for David Cook to win American Idol tonight.

Disagree, write messages in all caps, call me tone deaf, call me stupid, say what you will. Winning this is not in the cards for him. Let him grow up, let him find a passion for music rather than a talent for it. Once he's inspired, no doubt his music will be too.

And remember, coming in second isn't a death sentence, not even close. Clay Aiken is promoting a hit album right now while Taylor Hicks just got dropped from his record label and is playing Teen Angel in Grease on Broadway.

Whether you love David Archuleta or you hate him, you know the right thing to do. Support David Cook in his effort to be your next American Idol.

Couch Gag Collage

Like The Simpsons? Get a load of this clip of every single couch gag ever. Ever. All 418 episodes. The best part is that you can pick out certain episodes by their gag.

You can say the show's gone downhill. You can say it's no longer funny or relevant. You can say all of those things...but you'd be wrong.

How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying

Seth Macfarlane, the twisted brain behind Family Guy, American Dad and the new Family Guy Spinoff (The Cleveland Show), just signed a massive deal with 20th Century Fox. When I say massive, I'm not exaggerating. Seriously ridiculous. 

Macfarlane is set to make $100 Million between now and 2012  for writing and producing his current animated docket and an upcoming live-action show. 

Learn from this people: You too can make an excess of $25 Million a year for coming up with crass humor and weak plots...and this from a fan. 

Seth Macfarlane is now the highest paid writer-producer in television, and a lot of people would argue that he's not even very funny. 

Funny or not, the man is successful. If nothing else he is a master of raunchy jokes, timing, negotiation and luck. 

This Week In American Idol

I'm still watching tonight's episode.

I have a couple things to say:

• Why are people still voting for Jason Castro? If he's still here next week, I'm through.
  
• Apparently the folks over at Idol are contemplating how they can make the show better. My suggestion? More crazy Paula and less bad singing.
  
• If David Cook can eek out an American Idol win, it will give this show the credibility it so desperately needs this season.
  

Back to suffering through the back end of tonight's episode.

Best. Picture. Ever.

Thank you TV Addict for providing me with this giant photo of the 24 season 7 cast. Cue oggling.

The first things I noticed:

1. It's nice Janeane Garofolo can turn shlubby on and off.
2. Where are the CTU agents/political figures of color?
3. Love the fact that Jack is the only one wearing jeans. You'd think he'd switch to tear-away pants by now for maximum flexibility.