See Dexter Get Back Into The Swing of Things...Early!

Showtime is streaming the season premiere eps of Dexter and Californication for free, right now on their website.

Want to get in on the action? Go here. You'll need the password.

It's Lady Killer.

Get it? Because Dexter is a serial killer with some ridiculous issues and because David Duchovny and his character Hank Moody love ladies...a little too much. Oh Showtime, you slay me.

I'm holding out for the actual premiere on September 28. Not only because I want to see it in HD, but because when I was a kid season premieres meant something. Now you can see them three weeks early and watch them over and over again all week. Where's the fun in that? Sometimes I miss the good old days of appointment television.

Photo: seat42f.com

Weeds. Whoa.

I am blown away.

One could argue Weeds has been crazy this season. Drug trafficking, the Mexican mob, cheese shops, teenage three-ways, etc. But where Entourage takes their crazy and spins it into one-dimensional episodes of fantastical excess, Jenji Kohan and the folks over at Weeds craft complex tales of betrayal, lust and family.

We were treated to the sharp, irreverent wit of Justin Kirk, who's character Andy has morphed from a comic punching bag to a family linchpin just as troubled as Nancy herself. Dean and Celia finally had it out this week and foreshadowed the return of their long-lost daughter Quinn, who we last saw making out with Silas during the show's pilot episode. And in a move that could cost her her life, Nancy squealed to the DEA about the secret tunnel and it was promptly raided. The episode ended with Captain Till's romantic and professional partner Paul getting tortured with a belt sander then murdered, not before he gave up Nancy as an informant. Even her relationship with the Mayor of Tijuana, maestro to this madness, won't help her get out of this one.

Kohan managed to tie up the loose ends of this at times frenetic season together in a perfect bow of fear and funny, just in time for next week's finale. Has Nancy finally gotten herself in too deep? Suddenly those thugs with guns at the end of season two or impending wildfires in season three don't look so bad.

It's official. Showtime just put a nail in the coffin that is HBO television. I am counting the days until next week's episode.

Photo: rocksellout.com

I Think I'm Done With Entourage...

The "trailer" for the latest season of Entourage came out this week.



Apparently this season looks just like every other one, except now they have jetskis.

Hot.

Why am I still watching this show? It used to be funny. The characters were dynamic. Jeremy Piven used to be comic gold. Now he (and the rest of the cast) just seem tired and uninspired.

Meanwhile, Mary-Louise Parker is breaking bones during sex scenes over on the set of Weeds. Do you understand now why Showtime is winning the premium cable TV war?

Thanks heavens HBO still has Flight of the Conchords, otherwise their ship would've been sunk when Sopranos went black.

Leave The L Word Alone

I love The L Word. It's a well-written television show that focuses on women. Gay or straight, it's about time somebody took a look at our perspective without all of the crying. I was sad to hear the show will have it's final season in 2009, but at the same time I understand that six seasons is a long run for any show, and the longest run for a Showtime program.

Now, I may have to choke a bitch.

First, I hear a rumor today that Elizabeth Berkley has a multiple episode arc next seaosn. THIS Elizabeth Berkley. She will play the straight girl that got away from Bette in her college days.

If that wasn't unfortunate enough, apparently Showtime has an L Word spin-off in the works.

Let my show have a graceful and meaningful death. It lived a long and full life and in this case, I don't think a brand new work-up will do it any further justice. It's like burying someone in a novelty casket...a novelty casket with advertising that makes you a boatload of money. Maybe something like this.

Do you want that on your conscience Showtime? Then let the L Word die with dignity.

This Call Girl Sucks...And Kind Of Blows

Did you catch the premiere of Showtime's sexy new series Secret Diary of a Call Girl?

The show is based on a book based on a blog by Belle de Jour, one of the classiest working girls in London. Belle's real identity has never been revealed leading many to believe the whole thing is a work of fiction. Regardless of its origins, Call Girl has generated some serious buzz for Showtime and saw great numbers for its debut Monday night. Though is not surprising since it followed the 4th season opener of Weeds, aka the most watched episode of a Showtime show ever. EVER.

I digress.

I watched Call Girl and found a few tiny flaws. Maybe flaw isn't the right word...little annoyances. Here's the short list:

• Our protagonist, Hannah/Belle De Jour, breaks the 4th wall and speaks to the audience. I know it's supposed to be diary, but it doesn't have to be a vlog.
  
• The show takes place in London and while I'm no xenophobe, it does get hard to sift through the accents, even for just a 22 minute stretch.
  
• So far, I don't have a lot of empathy for Hannah/Belle. We need to know a little bit more about her motivations, what makes her tick, what she wants eventually etc. We got a taste of that in the pilot but not really enough to make me want to root for her. If writers can make me love a vicious serial killer like Dexter, they can certainly do that here.
  
• And the sex scenes weren't that hot. Considering the show I thought they could do better.
  

I watched the second episode on Showtime's website and it gets better but I'm not convinced yet. You can see both episodes for yourself. Let me know if I'm just not giving it the old college try.


Photo: The Guardian

Did You See The Tudors?

The highly anticipated second season of The Tudors premiered tonight. I was too busy fawning over John Adams, but I'm sure I'll read about it tomorrow.

This may not be news to some of you, because the episode made its debut YouTube last week. The crazy monarchy sex parts were taken out but the gist was there. Showtime is hoping the tease will garner subscribers.

A better approach might have been to pre-screen the first 15 or 20 minutes on CBS, then direct people online, but who am I to judge?

Ladies Leaving La-La Land

Showtime announced that The L Word will end its run next year.

The show will conclude with six seasons under it's rhinestone studded belt, making it the longest running show on Showtime and one of the longest in cable TV history.

I'll miss the show terribly, but I'm glad it made it this far. I'm also the creative team gets 12 more episodes to wrap everything up.

The sixth season will be nothing less than juicy.

Marathon Woman

I only have Showtime at my parents' house. It's annoying but it means I can spend more money on Sour Patch Kids and iTunes. But I'm home for the holidays and that means one thing: I'm stocking up on all of the premium channels I can. 

First off: I desperately need to watch the last four episodes of Dexter. To say I am worried about spoiler alerts is an understatement. I am freaked out. Have you seen those new Burger King commercials? It's at " I want a Whopper now!!" level.  Making it worse, Dexter is kind of hard to watch in marathon form. It's bloody, dramatic, and Michael C. Hall's voice is seductive yet approaching soporific. Furthermore, my dad bet me $5 that I can't catch up on the last three episodes tonight so we can watch the season finale together tomorrow. $5! Now there's a mediocre lunch at stake. I can't blow this. What's a girl to do?

The only thing I can do: I'm going to crack my neck, get a glass of ice water and buckle in for a long and gory night. 

Dexter Vacations on CBS

I'm a little peeved about this.

Thanks to the strike, CBS is plucking content from their sister network Showtime, re-purposing it and airing it on the broadcast network. Dexter is the first to make the jump, which is no surprise considering the popularity of CBS' other crime dramas. The Tudors and Weeds are also being considered for primetime spots.

This is actually kind of genius on Showtime's part. These shows are brand new to most of the country. CBS will be the premier destination for "new" drama, when everyone else will be airing re-runs, game shows, or worse. Plus, when people watch Dexter and get hooked (because it's impossible not to) and the writers strike comes to an end, they'll be more likely to order Showtime. Their subscriptions are going to skyrocket.

So why am I peeved? I finally understand what people who bought the iPhone early felt like. No fair! I paid extra for those premium channels and now they're just giving it all away. It just seems a little wrong.

I guess you can't stop progress. It will be interesting to see how they edit Dexter for time and content. They'll have to cut 10 minutes out of every episode. That might even be enough to get me to watch them again.

Damn. I've been swayed already.

Shows I Wish I Cared About

Sometime's it's lonely at the ground floor. I just didn't think certain shows would last, so I let them go on without me. Now everyone is tuning in and I'm stuck with re-runs of Fresh Prince. Here are a few that I'm thinking of this morning:

• Dancing With The Stars - Z-List celebrities cha-cha their way to back to relevancy. I should have believed the commercials. They told me it was a hit show all around the world. You know what else was a hit all around the world? Communism. That didn't last too long. Who knew people loved this stuff?


• CSI & all of its ideations - I watched a few episodes of CSI, but once it split off into Miami, I thought it was done for. Pish-posh! The show took off like a motorboat filled with cocaine. Now Jessie Spano is showing up as Horatio's ex-wife. Just don't call her a chick!


• The newest version of Battlestar Galactica: Shocking, I know. But I hear it's one of the best shows on television. Caprica? Thirteenth Colony? It's all Cylon to me. Plus Dwight Shrute is a fan and he knows fun.


• The Tudors - Sex, killing, accents, old-timey clothes. What's not to like? I may try to catch up with this one on On Demand. Plus, I feel like Jonathan Rhys Meyers has something to prove after August Rush. Make it reign dude!

TV-Giving

Before I sit down to my favorite meal of the year, here's what I'm thankful for, at least where TV is concerned.

• Returns to normalcy for Desperate Housewives & Prison Break. Thanks for finding your niche and settling in again. I'm glad I held out hope.
  

• The Writers Strike is a blessing in disguise. It's high time the writers get what they deserve, plus it clears the schedule for some ridiculous reality shows that I can rant and laugh at for years to come. Stay tuned for my diatribe on Clash of the Choirs.
  

• Again, I'm thankful for my DVR and iTunes for ensuring I never miss a moment despite late night meetings, boring banquets and priceless moments with friends.
  

• To Showtime & HBO for always raising the bar. The Sopranos finale made people believers again. New shows on HBO (Flight of the Conchords, Tell Me You Love Me) and dark hits on Showtime (Weeds, Dexter) are carrying the torch. They owe it to the Sopranos to continue to develop intelligent beautiful television...and they are.
  

• And before I forget, I'm thankful for all of the great blogs I ran into this year, mostly while writing for this one. Scanner, and Reality Blurred to United Hollywood and Best Week Ever. I learn and laugh my way through work everyday. Thanks for bringing up to date pop culture news to the masses.
  

A Very Happy Thanksgiving to all five of our readers, wherever they are. Here's to lots of turkey, awkward family moments, the best naps of the holiday season and great sales on TV on DVD.

Blood Sugar Sex Lawsuits

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are suing Showtime over the name of their new show Californication. The David Duchovny vehicle is about a writer with issues. It also features a character named Dani California, a Chili Peppers song in its own right.

The show's creator, Tom Kapinos, alleges he saw the phrase on a bumper sticker. Even if it were true, he had to know the band would come after him at some point. And Dani California? That's just too much of a coincidence. This would have been relatively easy to avoid if he had just worked with the band from the beginning. They seem like pretty chill guys and it would be a nice cross promotion. It would be easy to soundtrack a show with Chili Peppers songs and covers.

Hindsight is 20/20.

I'm Just Catching Up: Weeds

I don't have Showtime, but thanks to an extended stay at Chateau Mom & Dad's, I've been catching up on my favorites.

Season 3 of Weeds is off to a refreshing start. Nancy and company were in quite a jumble at the end of season 2. Unlike "24" she spent upwards of two episodes trying to get out of the quagmire. For those of you who missed the beginning of 24 this season, we didn't get a chance to see just how Jack survived the slow boat to China. I like it when season premiere's take place two seconds after the season finale ends. It's like they never left.

My only beef with Weeds is that Nancy is never just okay. I know that might make for boring television, but it would also humanize her and make her seem realistic. The show is taking on an out of this world quality. It needs to settle down before it becomes Pushing Daisies.

I am one episode into Dexter as well. So far, all I can confirm is that Michael C. Hall's voice is devastatingtly hansome.