Stars Behind Bars: Almost Top Chef Edition

Top Chef Season 2 runner-up Marcel "Giant Head/Bigger Ego" Vigneron was arrested and thrown in the clink on Saturday for a DUI.

Marcel posted the $2,500 bail and even managed to make it to a benefit event on Sunday.

Keep your nose out of the cooking sherry little buddy.

Top Chef Comes To Town Too!

Speaking of shows coming to life, the folks at Top Chef are doing some cooking demonstrations, and sharing some show insights as a part of Top Chef: The Tour. The event stops in 20 cities across the country and admission to the hour-long sessions are free.

Different chefs appear in each stop. Detroit was fortunate enough to get my favorite unstable, Ginger-headed cook, Andrew. Madison will have to settle for a visit from Top Chef winner Stephanie Izard and Season 3's Dale Levitsky (or as I like to call him, the Dale everyone liked)

Click here for all the details on the tour itself. If you want to see the chefs when they stop in Madison next week, check out the pertinent info here.

Photo: Chicago Tribune

Well There Goes My Reason To Hold Out Hope...

I learned about the term "gastrosexuals" a few weeks back. Definition? A hot guy who cooks.

And there was no better place to find (and ogle) these fellas than the Top Chef kitchens. My gastrosexual of choice is Sam Talbot from Top Chef season two. So classy, so laid back, and his food (and sexy hair) made my mouth water.

Then, my heart sank faster than a weak souffle. Sam is engaged. And it gets worse. She designs funky t-shirts. She is a gorgeous Columbian woman. Oh and she models on the side too. And they just met in December 2007.

I'm happy for you Sam. But I hope you'll always wonder what could've been. I know I will.

Photo: Observer.com

Trading One Star For Another

I'm watching Next Food Network Star and it's official...I don't want any of these people to have their own television show.

On the other hand, DesignStar is blowing my socks off. These people are creative, funny, daring and a pleasure to watch. I'm not even that much of a home and garden nut, but that's just it...they make the stuff compelling. Ever wonder why the "top-rated food show on cable" isn't even on Food Network? Look no further. If this is their mine of talent, then pickings must be slim.

Sorry old friend, but I think I'm all about your sister channel now..even if the designers are crying all the time.

It's a risk I'm willing to take.


Photo: HGTV.ca

NY Reality TV School: Register Now!

The good folks at Slate took in some of the coursework offered by the New York Reality TV School. Apparently this place teaches you how to let your freak flag fly just right to attract the attention of all the right people.

You can sign -up for an intensive one-time workshop or a five week course. The intensive course is three hours of improvisational training, practicing for reality show challenges/games, strategies for dealing with wacky personalities, etc. You can also sign up for a Q&A session with a casting director.

For $300 bucks you can sign-up for the five week course and really find yourself. Figure out the best ways to make a submission tape, tell your life stories, resolve (or instigate) conflict and more.

The program does most some legit credentials. Apparently they've helped folks get on shows like Top Chef,The Bachelor, and The Apprentice. But seriously? At what point do you hit rock bottom and decide a piece of your next pay-check is going towards reality show school?

Though I suppose there are worse ways to spend your stimulus check.


Photo: NY Reality TV School

You Be The Judge: Top Chef Predictions

After a shocking dismissal of my favorite chef Antonia last week, I am not as excited for tonight's Top Chef season finale. Stephanie wins everything (yet still seems surprisingly modest and grateful) so if she eeks it out it's no surprise. Richard is also an innovative and talented chef. He may have dropped the ball these past few weeks but came back strong in part one of the finale. Though I have a feeling that car was a nice second place gesture.

I think the folks over at Bravo want a lady Top Chef. There's never been one, and I think the producers are getting restless. Tiffani and Casey came close but both just couldn't stack up against some amazing technically masterful chefs. This time, Stephanie meets or exceeds Richard in a lot of areas. If ever there was a good shot for the women, this is it.

You may be thinking, "What about Lisa?"Lisa is a walking disaster who's been in the bottom too many times to count..okay 6 times. Her food doesn't look appetizing (and since she's only won one challenge, it must not taste too appetizing either), she has a bad attitude, she's always on the defensive and now she has a greasy looking hair cut...plus she hates bloggers. Shocking! If she managed to win this show, Top Chef would lose all of its credibility.


Photo: I'd Dream

Hump Day Update

It's Wednesday. How are you celebrating?

• The Real World is shooting in Brooklyn for its 21st season. In case you're counting, this is the 3rd time they'll be in New York. I wrote a post about this for my other blog but let me just say this: Really? Three times in NYC? There's no other place in the worth checking out? In this entire country? Really?

• My favorite chef got voted off Top Chef tonight. I miss his wily antics already.
  

• In other chef show news, Hell's Kitchen saw its highest ratings ever last night thanks to a lead-in from the Idol final 3. They did a blind taste test last night to test out their palattes. This is a similar to a recent quickfire on Top Chef. The only difference? When the highly trained, near-expert chefs on Bravo were distinguishing between expensive and cheap olive oil, the cooks on Hells Kitchen were just trying to recognize chicken. Not free-range, nothing special. Here's a forkful of something, what is it? Chicken. The best part? The woman got it wrong. Thank heavens the show is entertaining because these people can't cook.
  

• And finally, this is a fantastic clip from Deal Or No Deal. No skills required on this show...it shows.
  
  

HBO Gets "Hung"

HBO just secured some Hollywood clout for its next television project, Hung. The creative mind behind Sideways, (the movie not the book) just signed on to serve as an EP for the dark comedy.

Hung follows the trials and tribulations of a basketball coach with an abnormally large penis. Seriously. But with a title like Hung, I don't know what you were expecting. A biopic of Top Chef Miami winner Hung Huynh?

Not so much.

The Most Awkward Top Chef Quote Ever

It's even better out of context.

"I'm like Popeye's motherfuckin' wet dream here."

Everyone's favorite foul-mouthed, ginger chef Andrew rattled that off after making 125 servings of creamed spinach.

Hump Day Update

It's Wednesday and always there's too much to talk about. How was your hump day everybody?

• Top Chef finally got rid of my least favorite chef. I won't give it away, but let me just say: I'm glad he's gone mate.
  
  
• David Blaine broke the world record for holding your breath under water after breathing in pure oxygen for 25 minutes. Yes, the record is that specific. Apparently there are two types of records. One where you don't take in the pure oxygen and one where you do. Either way, you get the shakes, your heart goes funny and you look like a dumbass in a giant globe of water on the Oprah set. If SNL were new this week, they'd be having a field day.


• And in Idol chatter, one of my favorites, Brooke White, went home tonight. She wasn't going to win, but I did like her modesty, sincerity and every other week, her voice.
  


• Anyone else see Charlie Gibson fill in on Good Morning America this morning? His stint reminded me just how much I miss him at the desk. They played old clips of him all morning. My favorite was from a few years ago when Sam Champion was just filling in for Spencer Christian one day. The scene went something like this:

Robin: Thank you Sam. And yes America, Sam Champion is his real name.
Charlie: Really, that's your real name? Sam Third Place Finisher just doesn't have the same effect.

Charlie, feel free to come back to GMA anytime...seriously.

Hump Day Update

I love TV, but a few things drove me a little nuts today about my favorite medium.

• I'm watching Top Chef and while it's nothing new, those little "coming up on Top Chef" clips are starting to drive me nuts. Trust that I will stay to watch and just go to the commercials. I don't need any more Padma than absolutely necessary. I do love Andrew though. He dances on the border between funny and sociopathic.
  

• American Idol **Spoiler Alert** - I am sad that Chikezie got voted off. He wasn't a great singer but he seemed funny and I liked watching the few occasions when he shook things up.
  

• One of my favorite game shows, Family Feud, is making the move to primetime NBC. I think it deserves a 21st century update but I don't like that they're fussing with the family aspect a bit. The show could feature celebrity kin or casts of NBC shows (Think 30 Rock vs. Heroes). I miss Ray Combs.
  

Let's Get Cooking!

In case you're still a hot mess after Project Runway closed up shop last week, I just wanted to send out a reminder that Top Chef: Chicago premieres tonight.

Since they're in the Windy City, I hope they have a hot link or deep dish pizza challenge. It's the least they could do. Though the chefs will probably think too hard and the food will end up gross.

Still, here's to hoping.

The premiere is 75 minutes long and will be on Bravo all fuckin' week if you miss it tonight at 10/9C.

Who Likes Padma That Much?

On my way into work this morning a car in front of me had a vanity plate that said:

TOPCHEF

Now this can mean a number of things.

• Either Harold, Ilan or Hung had taken residence in Nashville
• The best chefs on the show, Sam and Trey, decided to have a personal victory and get a personalized plate
  
• There was a super-fan in my midst

I bobbed and weaved to get closer and inspect the bumper stickers. They had some from the Young Chefs Academy and one for a local mayoral candidate. My guess is they're just a moderately creative chef.

But the whole thing got me to thinking. What shows do I love enough to permanently stick to the back of my car. I have a vanity plate and deciding what to pick was difficult because you know people are constantly trying to judge you/ decipher it from behind.

I think my only options would be odes to 24 and The Office.

CTU
DUNDIES

Because honestly, is there anything else on TV worth getting rear ended for?