Get Out! (Aggressive Shove)

The story started simply enough.

Eli Manning loves Seinfeld.

Jay Zollar, General Manager of the Fox affiliate (WLUK) in Green Bay, said he is pulling the 5:30 PM re-run of Seinfeld from the air on Saturday so Eli will be out of his element for the NFC Championship. Not only that, but the station will air God, Family & The Green Bay Packers instead.

But Zollar didn't know what he was in for. Sony got wind of the debacle and is shipping the entire series and a DVD player to Manning. In a statement on the WLUK web site, Zollar now rests his hopes that Eli will be stay up all night watching Seinfeld and won't get any sleep. Even going as far as to quip, "No sleep for you."

This whole story would have been a lot funnier if Manning's favorite show was really embarassing. Something like Still Standing or One Tree Hill. Wishful thinking.

I Just Don't Get It: Eli Stone

In-between preposterous acts of Ugly Betty (seriously, poison perfume? What?) there have been several commercials for ABC's new show Eli Stone.

No matter how many times I see the commercial, I just don't understand what the show is about. Watch the promo and see for yourself.

Let me get this straight: He hears George Michael in his head and he changes his life? Is he a prophet? Does he speak to prophets? Will there always be singing and musical guests?

I'm left with more questions than a desire to watch, yet I'm intrigued. From what I can tell, the show is an amalgam of the following programs:

- Joan of Arcadia - Book of Daniel - Viva Laughlin (uh oh!) - Ed

3 out of 4 ain't bad. Eli Stone premieres on January 31st.

Writers Strike: Weekly Update

• The Golden Globes sucked. Worse than the lack of stars at the event? Billy Bush providing commentary. Attention douchebag: You are not a media critic. No one cares if you think Californication is "so cool."
  

• WGA President Patric Verrone had some insightful things to say about the strike to the Fox Business Network. The most interesting part? He wants the Oscars to go on as scheduled in February. You, me, and everyone else buddy but it's looking pretty grim. I guess my red carpet theme party is re-scheduled for '09. And I was going to make something in puff pastry. PUFF PASTRY!

• The Directors Guild of America is currently in talks of their own. The problem? They're more likely to sacrifice residuals from new media for larger payments up front. Since the DGA is negotiating first, their deal could impact the WGA and SAG. Read on at United Hollywood.
  

• In positive news, the WGA signed an agreement with Spyglass Entertainment. They make movies, but every agreement is a giant step forward. Kudos!
  

Re-Running Everything

I still don't have all of my channels. Not shocking.

Since I get channels 2-22 and for some reason 49 (Thank heavens for ABC Family!) I've been watching a lot of broadcast channels. What happens on broadcast channels after primetime? A whole lot of syndicated television.

Today I watched Scrubs, Friends, The Simpsons and My Wife & Kids. I've decided Scrubs makes my very short list of shows where the re-runs don't get old. I can watch the same episode twice in a week, hell even a day, and still enjoy it. Others on the list?

• Fresh Prince
• Gilmore Girls
• America's Next Top Model
  

Not every show can pull this off. Not even close. Why do you think they no longer show re-runs of Lost? And while it wasn't too funny the first time, That 70's Show really sucks the second or third.

I wish some of my favorites would have more episodes so they could replace the crap currently in heavy rotation in syndication. I ask you one more time; who is watching Two And A Half Men? Enough!

Soon She'll OWN You Too

Oprah is getting her own Oprah themed network. I wish I were joking.

The Oprah Winfrey Network, menacingly dubbed OWN, is coming to your TV (probably wrapped in a cashmere throw) in 2009. OWN will replace the Discovery Health Channel, which is currently available in over 65 Million homes.

Oprah gets full control of the content and creative direction of OWN and plans to focus on financial issues, spirituality, relationships and wellness. Essentially it's the magazine...but in HD!

The channel probably won't be any worse than most of the tripe on TV. And Oprah doesn't lend her name to bad stuff; for the most part. I'm reluctantly optimistic.

I bet she swims in a pool of coins like Scrooge McDuck.

American Idol Bingo!

American Idol premieres tonight and while I love the show, the audition episodes can get draining. To keep the fun going, I made an Idol Bingo board (click to enlarge) that you can use while you watch tonight.

My friend Amber also had the handy idea of turning this into a drinking game. Because most of these things are sure to happen, that would be an excellent way to spice up an otherwise boring telecast.

Happy Viewing!

I Hate My Cable Company

It's not shocking really. Most people have a love/hate relationship with their cable provider. It could be the long wait times on the phone or the inaudible people they have working once the person picks up. It might be the cable technicians who show up late, never or on the wrong day. Some people even hate them for their exorbitant price gouging with few additional services.

Why do I hate them? Take your pick. Yesterday I needed to have digital cable put into my apartment. As a TV blogger, this is kind of a big deal. I had it done in the morning so I could still check out all of my good stuff at night. No such luck. They messed up the box and I was missing 50 channels. I'm not a pharaoh, I can't afford to pay for all 900 channels. I pay for 74. So when 50 are missing, again, it's kind of a big deal.

I call the company, they ping the box, I wait, I unplug the box. Nothing. I call back. They make me do it again. They give me the worst appointment time ever for them to come back and fix it. They make me sit on hold. I've been in a relationship with Charter for less than 24 hours and already they've kept me waiting for assorted reasons for 91 minutes. That's a pretty big chunk of the day, not to mention an awful first impression.

The head of the FCC, Kevin Martin, is making it his personal mission to break up some of these cable monopolies and make cable service more affordable and a better service for everyone. It's a shame he can't make this his number one priority, as he's too busy sifting through hundreds of thousands of indecency complaints and media conglomerate messes.

I just hope something happens soon, because if I have to sit and listen to Charter telephone ads for one more minute, I may do something I regret.

Some Thoughts Post-Terminator

Below are notes I made while watching  Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. 

• Why do Sarah (Lena Headey) and her son John (Thomas Dekker) look more like brother and sister? Could they find someone more age appropriate? When John, Sarah and Cameron (Summer Glau) show up naked in 2007. John ogles his mother a little too long. Creepy doesn't begin to describe it. 

• Lena Headey seems incredibly one-dimensional, almost lifeless in this show. I understand that she's at the end of her rope, but it's just too much. She has so much range and it would have been nice to see it. She shined in Imagine Me And You. Let's hope she is allowed to stretch a little on Terminator. 

• Sarah's boyfriend is a dead ringer for Dennis, (Dean Winter) Liz Lemon's slouchy ex from 30 Rock. 

• If a shooter with a robot leg came into a high school and shot it up, wouldn't more people care to look for him? No one has a CNN chopper on this guy? It's supposed to be 1999. With Columbine still fresh, I feel like that would be quite the news story.

Just a few things. Despite some of the ridiculousness, lazy acting and general impossibilities, the show is kind of cool. It's at least as good as the shitty seasons of 24, if not better. The two-night premiere continues tomorrow. If you missed it tonight, seriously consider watching it tomorrow. 

Not So Golden Globes

Things People Care About More Than The Golden Globes This Year:

• What's for dinner
• American Gladiators
• The SAG Awards
• Their children
• Global Warming

The last two may be a stretch, but you get my point. The Golden Globes are going to be truly lackluster this year. No red carpet. No drunk celebrities. No worst dressed list or awkward acceptance speeches. 

So I guess I'll try to turn lemons into lemonade:

One light at the end of the tunnel?  Kathy Griffin is helping out Matt Lauer with pre-show commentary. She was fired from E! a few years ago for being too abrasive. Too bad she was the best thing to happen to them since Seacrest started working 8 shows. It will be fun to watch Matt Lauer turn red at some of her quips. 

Other good news? The show won't be so long. An hour long press conference means less bull. No in memoriam, no stiff accountants, no unintelligible comments from the HFPA. Just the winners. I'll miss the fancy clothes but I won't be stuck in front of the TV all night...unless I want to be. 

American Idol Spawns More Trouble

Oh hell no!

American Idol returns to the airwaves next week but the show has been having the worst PR in the past few weeks. Ruben Studdard, Taylor Hicks and Katherine McPhee were dropped from their respective recording labels. Ouch! I guess the Soul Patrol gave up when they discovered Taylor Hicks was a poor man's Michael McDonald. 

If that wasn't enough, last season's favorite, Sanjaya, is in talks to star in his own variety show alongside his sister Shyamali. You may remember her from the auditions, she was the cuter, more talented Malakar. But you can be the judge of that. 

If this show and Sanjaya's upcoming album come to fruition I am giving up on humanity. I don't care what the tween girls think, you still suck Sanjaya. 

Make Me A Supermodel Premeires Tonight

Is anyone going to watch this show? It has a few things going for it:

• Top Model isn't on
• Male models. Why hasn't anyone else figured this out? It seems simple enough that girls who love modeling shows get sick of looking at skinny bitches season after season. Now we get to look at muscley douchebags too! See Frankie above.
  
• Tyson Beckford is hosting? Someone at Bravo put on their thinking cap that day.
  
• Viewers get to vote on who stays and who goes. Unfair to the talent but the annoying people won't stick around for most of the season like on some shows.
  
• There's just not much else on.
  

If American Gladiators can be a sleeper hit, then I don't see why this can't be at least okay. I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt and watch it. I could live to regret this.

Stars (Almost) Behind Bars: The Little People Big Trouble Edition

Thank DListed for this gem:

Matt Roloff was acquitted of drunk driving today.

He said the adjustments on his wife's pedal extensions caused him to swerve. The man can drive a tractor, a bobcat, and other giant farm and stone equipment but a little change to the pedal extension and he can't operate a minivan anymore?

Suspect.

Either way, he's off the hook.

I can't wait to see how TLC edits this to make it look like the most dramatic and harrowing court case of all time. Move over To Kill A Mockingbird.