The Baby Borrowers: Like Teen Nation

NBC's new show, The Baby Borrowers, looks like the perfect substitute for Kid Nation. This video describes the whole show in detail, but if you don't have 5 minutes you can read my not-so-succinct synopsis below.

The show takes four or five high school couples who are interested in eventually having children, then random people loan out their babies for three days to see if the teens can handle it. Of course they can't and if that were the whole show it would suck. Luckily for us, the fun keeps going. The teenagers have to get jobs and run their own home. After three days of babies, the couples get toddlers, then elementary school kids and so on. Eventually they get pets and old people to take care of. I'm sure all of them will end up crying, throwing up or putting a t-shirt on the baby instead of a diaper ala Full House.

Hopefully it will keep some idiot 15-year-old from punching holes in her condoms to save her five month relationship. Attention girls: He's a teenager so he's into your lady parts, beer and bumper pool. Just wait it out.

The show premieres on February 18.

Something To Look Forward To

My prayers have been answered. The Mole is coming back to American television. Not even Celebrity Mole, real, civilian, Mole.

The show is casting right now and shoots in the spring for a summer debut. This time around, the show has a "simpler format," which makes me wonder how they will adapt the show to encourage new viewers but keep the old fans. Maybe that quiz at the end of the show won't be so hard.

Supposedly this has nothing to do with the Writers Strike, but I'm not buying it. Either way, one of my favorite shows of all time is returning to the airwaves.

Next push? Arrested Development.

Writers Strike: Weekly Update

In Florida last week. Two signs the strike is working. Two signs it needs to end immediately.

• The Golden Globes are canceled. After NBC insisted they would go on without writers, nominees or presenters they finally heard themselves talk and canceled the telecast. Instead, the winners will be announced at a press conference that is not set to last more than an hour.
  

• Tom Cruise's company United Artists is the first large studio to sign an independent agreement with the WGA. This deal is the first thing he got right since Cocktail.
  

• Jimmy Kimmel and Jay Leno are having each other as guests on their respective shows on Thursday. The fire and brimstone are set for Friday after lunch.
  

• American Gladiators had the highest ratings for any new show on NBC this season. Again, the hellfires should roll in after lunch, around one, twoish tops.
  

My Dream Vacation: 2008 CES

My parents welcomed home two DVRs today and they're like the helpful little brothers I always wanted. Granted, I will need to commit several hours in training and complaining before my mother will fully understand just why or how her DVR is different than a VCR. It will be worth it when I never miss another thing at mom and dad's because of the dog picking an inopportune time to bark.

Sidenote: That was a long sentence. It's late. I can't think of how to fix it.

Anyway, with the DVRs in the house (I named them Doug and Cesssy) you'd think they're all caught up. What's left to do before they span the digital divide? Look no further than the 2008 International Consumer Electronics Show.

Everything new in the world of gaming, wireless, car technology and home theater/video is premiered at the CES in Las Vegas. It's like a car show, but for even bigger geeks. The stuff that is shaping the way we watch and experience TV now was showcased years ago. Every CES is like a glimpse into the future, only with fewer aliens and Blu-Ray discs are really popular.

The show started today and runs until January 10. For information on all of the cool stuff, peruse the CES website for daily updates. There's enough there to keep my parents in the dark for years to come.

Stars Behind Bars: The "Haven't They Been Through Enough" Edition

He's out on $11,000 bail but Tim "Youngblood" Chapman, the ponytailed, skinny BFF of Dog The Bounty Hunter was arrested on Thursday. This story is for the ages...or the Enquirer.

Apparently Chapman was sitting in the cab of his pick-up truck with his pants down. The truck was parked outside a local shopping center and concerned citizens called the police because they thought he was fondling himself in public. When the cops showed up, Chapman went apeshit! Instead of getting out the car like they demanded, he slid into the driver's seat, hit the gas, jumped the curb and almost hit a security guard.

Chapman was originally arrested with suspicion of second-degree attempted murder. But according to the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, he now faces a charge of first-degree terroristic threatening and the prosecuters may add indecent exposure.

The best part? Chapman says he wasn't jerking off at all, he had just spilled juice on his pants. That's rich.

All I can do is laugh and smile at just how fast that family fell apart. Sorry Dog. It's just not your day, your life even.

Losing Out On Viewers: Or Why I Hate TV Online

Last night I discovered that I hadn't made quite as large a dent into Lost as I previously thought. I assumed I had about six episodes left but in reality it's closer to 16. With less than a month until the premiere, I decided to watch one online last night.

To my surprise, ABC.com has the entire third season available on their site and with " imited commercial interruption" no less. What a nice gesture right? Too bad I can't make it through 45 seconds of the show without it skipping and getting blurry, or the color going out, or the picture not matching up with the voices. The commercials seem to come in okay (shocking!) but I have to suffer in silence over the poor quality of the episode.

I thought it was an ABC problem, but I tried to watch an episode of 30 Rock online as a test and I had an even harder time. I had a frozen picture of Liz Lemon on my screen for about 6 minutes before I gave up.

It doesn't make sense. I have a pretty new computer and I'm using a fast internet connection. Can't a girl just watch pretty people whine about the elements in peace? Or do they intentionally fuck with me so I give up and get the DVD?

Now they've really lost me.

My BGTVW: Because There Just Aren't Enough Acronyms

I read a newspaper article about a new gay bar opening up in town with the unforunate name, Plan B. I laughed out loud. There are several bar names that don't make homosexuality sound like a lesser orientation or option, but Plan B somehow won that coin toss. After a good chuckle, and a few head shakes. I decided it would be a nice time to have another Big Gay TV Weekend. Here's what's on the docket:

• I recorded Miss America: Reality Check and How to Look Good Naked. The shows are hosted by some of my favorite fellas; Michael Urie and Carson Kressley. I am halfway through Miss America and it is going quite well. Not as funny as Crowned, but oddly enough the girls are more compelling. They have issues, they hunt, they hate pre-marital sex, they have big hair, the list goes on. Who knew?

• In the spirit of my love of prison documentaries, I watched a drama on Logo called Bad Girls about life in Larkhall Womens Prison Facility. I'm not a huge fan of British TV, but this one of the best dramatic imports I've seen in a long time.
  

• I am devoting a few hours tomorrow to my favorite episodes of Six Feet Under which revolve around David & Keith's relationship. They're on-again-off-again status was what kept that show moving for me. Probably because Brenda was so crazy.
  

• Tomorrow is the season premiere of The L Word. Woohoo! If you don't have the iron-like willpower that I possess, you can watch the full episode online right now on OurChart.
  

It's going to be a long weekend, but this is the stuff that winter break is made of. Plus I need to get all of the fun out of my system now before I hunker down for my Lost marathon.

1 Night 2 Parties: Still Kind Of Lame

They're going to be like...the coolest debates ever, like for sure! OMG Guys!

Tonight, ABC is hosting back-to back presidential debates in primetime. If that's not enough of a reason to clear your calendars, guess who the debate is sponsored by? Facebook. Everyone's favorite social networking site is presenting tonight's showdown with the GOP going on at a little after 6 and the Dems at 7:45ish.

ABC had strict rules to get into the debate, mainly that the candidate still had to be a viable contender. Dennis Kucinich didn't make the cut and he is pissed, even going as far as to file a complaint with the FCC. He's probably just mad because he has to go back to making cookies in that hollowed out tree.

No one watches TV on Saturday nights but me and every other single loner on the planet, this debate will probably not change that but ABC is trying its darndest. Next time, instead of showing the debate, may I suggest they show High School Musical. That seemed to work out well.

edubTV Readers Assemble!

edubTV readers: I need all five of you to listen up!

It's 2008 and along with my personal resolutions (watch out Water Aerobics class, I'm making my splash again) and TV resolutions, I am also making a resolution or too for this blog.

You can blame this idea on the blogging book I got for Christmas. Yes, I can hear it too, the nerd alert is sounding loud and clear. But regardless, I want to do the following things:

• Buy the domain (don't buy it out from under me because I'll freak out and cry)
• Find or design a sweet layout (red is awesome, but we all deserve something more pleasing to look at)
• And add a weekly, or bi-weekly podcast

This is where all of you come in. What do want this podcast to be about? It can be show specific: American Idol, Lost, etc. Or genre specific: What's new in reality, My weekly rant on why I hate CSI, etc. Or even more general than that: General updates, writers strike news, etc.

I am just excited to use some of the new technology out there, so the content is just an added bonus. If you could leave a comment, talk to me in person, find me on Facebook or give me a call with any ideas that would be awesome.

But What Will Become of Local On The 8s?

The Weather Channel is up for sale, at an auction no less. According to the New York Times, the network may for $5 Billion and is being looked at by the likes of NBC and Comcast.

How much would I pay for The Weather Channel? A whole lot of nothing. Whenever I put it on, it is a commercial and usually for something awkward like Cialis, AARP or The Scooter Store. If they really want to cater to old people, they'd show things like this:



Attention Weather Channel: I am not 75, I just want to know whether it's cold enough to warrant a long-sleeve tee.

It's no wonder you're going under. Sheesh.

Huck and Leno Are Probably Besties Now

Mike Huckabee is the projected Republican winner in the Iowa caucuses tonight. I would like to think his victory is due to Chuck Norris, his strapping Tudors-inspired haircut (above) and his appearance on Leno last night.

It was the first night back for late-night talk show hosts and while Letterman boasted funny man Robin Williams, Leno came out strong with Huckabee. According to the early ratings, Leno took the numbers last night.

So who helped who more? Did his appearance on Leno help Huck to the top or vice-versa?

And more importantly: I watched CNN's coverage of the caucuses tonight and more impressive than Wolf Blitzer's blinding metallic tie was Anderson Cooper's pie chart board. He held up what looked like a piece of cardboard and a hologram of a pie chart appeared on it. Then, instead of listening to the political commentators, all I could do was watch Anderson fiddle with the board, making the graph smaller and bigger. He was like a kid with a bubble wand. It was mesmerizing.

And kudos to Barack Obama for winning the caucus for the Dems. Way to Barack The Vote Iowa!

Star Treking Into New Territory

I've never watched Star Trek before. I have a hard time suspending belief and the make-up kind of weirds me out. Plus, I am a big enough nerd and I don't really need to solidify my place in the bottom rung of the popularity ladder.

But I took a 6-hour nap this evening and woke-up in the middle of the night. The house was dark and the only thing illuminating the family room was the TV and the bumpy face of some sort of creature. But because I was still out of it and couldn't find the remote, I decided I would give Star Trek Voyager the fair shake it deserved. It's a new me in 2008.

In this episode, Repentance, the people I can only assume are the good guys, are transporting prisoners so they can be executed. Only, and you'll never believe this, some of the good guys think that capital punishment is wrong. Then, one of the bad guys reads of statistics about how a certain race of aliens are filling up the jails. The good guy posits that maybe they commit more crimes. The bad guy says something about the system not being fair.

This is essentially an issue episode about the criminal justice system, racial profiling and capital punishment. It's a lot to get into one episode and frankly, I don't think they pulled it off. The worst part? People are probably watching this show, or even obsessing over this show, and not getting the metaphor. I applaud them for trying, but if you're not going to do any of the issues justice, just keep your mouth shut. Stick to waxing enthusiastic about intergalactic fighting and skin bump maintenance.

Oh, and did I mention that the prisoners were multi-colored and deformed while the non-prisoners had finely ironed uniforms and the whitest skin I'd seen since Powder? I'm calling Al Sharpton.