Maybe They Listed The Wrong Address

Poor, poor American Idol. They decided to hold auditions in Puerto Rico, the 50 states' sexy-but complicated half brother from a previous marriage. As it turns out, about 300 people showed up.

Let's write that again shall we?

300.

This means the same amount of people showed up to fight in a bloody, virtually un-winnable battle in a mountain pass than in sunny, beach-filled Puerto Rico for Idol auditions.

That's a sad state of affairs.

But to Puerto Rico's credit: most of the people auditioning in any given city are not from that city or even the area. It's a lot easier to drive to Los Angeles from your farm in Oregon than to buy airfare to Puerto Rico. And because of the way they shoot the show, you'd have to do it twice. No thanks.

I can't wait to see Seacrest chatting up the 300 folks who came out. Where are they going to find a stadium small enough to shoot that intro "This is...American Idol!" shot? A high school gym-a-cafe-torium?

Well There Goes My Reason To Hold Out Hope...

I learned about the term "gastrosexuals" a few weeks back. Definition? A hot guy who cooks.

And there was no better place to find (and ogle) these fellas than the Top Chef kitchens. My gastrosexual of choice is Sam Talbot from Top Chef season two. So classy, so laid back, and his food (and sexy hair) made my mouth water.

Then, my heart sank faster than a weak souffle. Sam is engaged. And it gets worse. She designs funky t-shirts. She is a gorgeous Columbian woman. Oh and she models on the side too. And they just met in December 2007.

I'm happy for you Sam. But I hope you'll always wonder what could've been. I know I will.

Photo: Observer.com

WWDDD?

A big-up to Mad Men for lifting me out of my summer TV doldrums like a small screen jaws of life. A second big-up to Vulture for turning me on to this hilarious blog, What Would Don Draper Do?

Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. Yes I read half the posts.

I need new TV. Immediately.

PS: How cute was it when Don taught his little daughter how to make a Tom Collins last night? Adorbs.

Why So Serious?

I am back from my self-imposed blogging vacation early to report on some pretty serious news that I just couldn't stay mum about much longer.

• Christina Applegate has breast cancer. She caught it very early and her chances of recovery are darn near 100% but the fact remains the same. I'm still very young, (despite the near fit I had when midnight struck on my birthday) but Christina Applegate is only 36. These celebrity diagnoses start hitting home as the folks get closer and closer to me in age. Christina Applegate? You mean Sue Ellen Crandall? Kelly Bundy? She's got cancer? It's a tough pill to swallow.
  

• And in other "why is everyone getting grave illnesses?" news, Bernie Mac is suffering from pneumonia in Chicago hospital and he is in extremely critical condition. However, his publicist also mentioned that he is responding well to the treatment. I haven't seen much of Bernie Mac recently but his sitcom was original and always good for a few laughs. His shining wit and creativity would be missed.
  

Let's hope for a speedy recovery for both stars. We can't lose anymore this year.

It's My Birthday Weekend!

Hey folks! I'll be off until Monday as I'm taking a vacation...by vacation I mean I'll be on a three day birthday cake and booze bender.

See you back on Monday so we can talk about Mad Men, and the winner of Design Star. For now, just enjoy this.

Photo: RecipeForLiving.com

Making It Work...For Nothing!

This is kind of an interesting tidbit:

Fashionista and resident cliche abuser Tim Gunn, worked for free on the first season of Project Runway. True story! He didn't earn one nickel for shelling out all of that advice, introducing the challenges, or breaking up fights between Wendy and Kara Saun, etc.

To the credit of the money-hungry producers, Tim Gunn had a real day-job as the chair of the Fashion department at the New School. And who knew the show would take off like it did?

During season two he earned $2,500 an episode, a siginificant increase but a paltry sum by reality show standards.

But I'm sure there's no love lost between Gunn and the Weinstein folks. He's parlayed a moonlighting gig into a book deal, spin-off TV show, and a cushy exec job at Liz Claiborne.


Oh, and since Bravo is done trying to get you to watch Project Runway, don't forget that it's on tonight at 9/8 central.

Photo: http://www.realityonbravo.com

9021-Nano

Ever wanted to express your love for you favorite long-running teen drama but didn't know how to do it?

Luckily, the folks at the CBS Store finally solved your problem: laser etched 90210 iPod nanos.

Get them quick because there are only 2,000 of these bad boys in the series, and that's before Tori Spelling buyS up half the lot for herself.

The only way I'd buy an iPod like this if it came pre-loaded with all of the episodes. Otherwise, it's kind of a random gift. Why not make a special edition iPod for all of my favorite things from the 1990s? You know why they don't? Because a limited issue snap bracelet, Color Me Badd, and Blank Check iPod probably wouldn't sell as well.


Photo: CBSstore.com

Sad News About Freddie Prinze Jr.

I know, it's not often you get the latest buzz on aging teen heartthrobs of the late '90s but this was just too good to pass up.

Mr. Sarah Michelle Gellar, I mean Prinze, just joined the creative team for WWE. That's World Wrestling Entertainment folks. Freddie will be hard at work behind the scenes to bring all of the drama, action and suspense of professional wrestling to life.

Oh even I had a hard time writing that. Giggles galore on this end of the computer.

What's next? Is Devon Sawa the new accountant for the MetRX World's Strongest Man competitions?

Photo: http://www.geocities.com/superlimpstar00/

Proof!

The following story is all the proof I need to know that not only does a higher power exist, but he or she has a sense of humor.

The King of the Coif, Ryan Seacrest, got bit by a shark over the weekend.

It was a baby shark, and it only nipped his foot, but apparently it left behind a tooth.

Best news I've heard all day. I don't hate the guy, but does anyone else smile a bit when pretty people with lots of money get theirs?



Photo: TheLifeofLuxury.com

Getting Yourself Prepared For The Return of Mad Men!

Mad Men returns tonight. Every blogger, TV enthusiast and old-timey ad-man alike is anxiously awaiting the second season of this critically acclaimed drama.

Want to get into the spirit before tonight's brand new episode? Here are a few tips:

• Make yourself a cocktail. Don Draper drinks whiskey old fashioneds. His lady friends tend to drink red wine or mai tais. Regardless of what you drink, hold it well. No one gets drunk at work, that's what election results parties are for.
  
• Take up smoking. I tried to count how many ciggarettes appeared in one episode and lost count after the first scene. Can you imagine if that America still existed? Watching all of that huffing and puffing seems so foreign. And don't worry about the actors, according to this painstakingly thorough article from the New York Times magazine, the articles are smoking herbal cigarettes (no nicotine, no tar).
• Read up. This season kicks off about 18 months from where we left off. It's Valentine's Day, 1962. So we won't get to see Pete Campbell's irreverent take on The Bay of Pigs, the beginning of the Berlin Wall, the Yankees winning the world series or the release of J.D. Salinger's Franny & Zooey. Tragic.
  
• Listen to some good music. The top songs from this time period remain classics today. Add Runaround Sue, Stand By Me and The Lion Sleeps Tonight to your playlist to get yourself in the mood.
  
• Buy the first season. iTunes is selling season one for $19.99, that's $20 off the retail prive everywhere else. If you don't mind watching it on your computer, that's certainly a steal.
  

Once you've done all that the only thing left to do is wait. You can read some of the "mad" press this show's received, especially in the past week. That might occupy your time. The season premiere airs at 10/9 central on AMC. Set your Tivos to stun.

Photo: AMCtv.com

Christian's Fierceness Finally Released

Got a spare $520 burning a whole in your cashmere lined pockets?

Then this puffy shirt can be yours. You saw how well it worked for Seinfeld.

Wanna guess who designed it? Your favorite designer and mine, Mr. Christian Siriano.

His first collection is for sale on Bluefly and most of the pieces already sold out.

It's pretty solid and the stuff looks like a lot of the work he did on the show; sharp, tailored, black.

It's nice to see he's doing so well so soon. What have you been up to Jay McCarroll?


Photo: Bluefly.com

I'm So Exicted! I'm So...SCARED!

I fucking love Saved By The Bell. I use love in present tense because my crush on Zach Morris has yet to end.

And it looks like it won't anytime soon thanks to this. Dustin Diamond, aka Samuel "Screech" Powers, is writing a tell-all book about the goings-on behind the scenes of Saved By The Bell.

Behind The Bell (I know, best title ever right?) will detail the casts' sexual exploits, boozing, and (cross your fingers) drug use, and not those lame caffeine pills either.

I know what you're thinking: This is awesomely awful. You want so badly to hate this idea, but yet you can't wait to read it on your next vacation. I will be buying five copies. One for me, and four more for my next few gift occasions. Nothing says "Happy Birthday Grandma" like a chapter on Belding doing lines off a hooker's stomach.

Photo: Katfm.com