Maybe They Listed The Wrong Address

Poor, poor American Idol. They decided to hold auditions in Puerto Rico, the 50 states' sexy-but complicated half brother from a previous marriage. As it turns out, about 300 people showed up.

Let's write that again shall we?

300.

This means the same amount of people showed up to fight in a bloody, virtually un-winnable battle in a mountain pass than in sunny, beach-filled Puerto Rico for Idol auditions.

That's a sad state of affairs.

But to Puerto Rico's credit: most of the people auditioning in any given city are not from that city or even the area. It's a lot easier to drive to Los Angeles from your farm in Oregon than to buy airfare to Puerto Rico. And because of the way they shoot the show, you'd have to do it twice. No thanks.

I can't wait to see Seacrest chatting up the 300 folks who came out. Where are they going to find a stadium small enough to shoot that intro "This is...American Idol!" shot? A high school gym-a-cafe-torium?