ABC Gets Extremely Generous

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition premiered tonight and I'm watching it right now. Because I am a firm believer in enhanced TV and because I missed the first 10 minutes, I did a little research on this episode before committing. As it turns out, this week's family resides in Hawaii and had their home torn apart by flooding. The matriarch, Theresa Akana, runs a non-profit organization and community center she started and has since helped 9,000 people. ABC boasted that this would be the largest build in Home Makeover history, since the family and the community center were getting new homes. Sounds perfect. Oh and not that it matters, but Akana and her husband have a combined income of $225,000 a year. No biggie though right?

In an interview with the Orlando Journal Sentinel, executive producer EM:HE Denise Cramsey said the families are selected based on "desperation and deserving." I suppose the Akana's had done a lot for their small town. Judging from the 3,000 people who helped them that week, the rest of the community thought they needed the help and support. But did the family deserve it more than the countless numbers of families who've applied for the show? I want to say no, but hundreds of families can't be wrong right?

Right?

You Heard It Here First

***Newsflash***
The new SNL Digital Short, "Iran So Far" is going to be bigger than Lazy Sunday. The music video features wunderkind Andy Samberg and Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine singing one of the catchiest new songs in recent memory. If that's not enough, it also combines Jake Gyllenhaal, small children and President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. There is nothing better...except "Dick in a Box."

Leaving Las Vegas: The Night I Let My Mother Have The Remote

My mother is in town and since I'm trying to be a good hostess, I let her watch whatever she wanted on TV last night. This is kind of a big deal, since we have very different taste. Caser in point, her favorite things on TV include Monk, Steven Seagal movies on TNT and old episodes of Ryan's Hope. Not exactly the dry humor I enjoy.

But I gave it a go. What did she select? Ghost Whisperer and Las Vegas. I kid you not. It was three hours of programming about as enticing as lukewarm milk.

Ghost Whisperer was first. I tried to be open minded. If you've never seen the show (kudos, first of all) it's about Melinda, a girl who sees ghosts and conveniently works at an antique shop. In this episode she thought she saw the ghost of her father...who she didn't know had died. Gripping. I fell asleep for 10 minutes and woke up to see Jay Mohr (Last Comic Standing) making small talk with Love about spirits or hauntings or something. I closed my eyes again and woke up again, but this time my patience was rewarded and I got to see Love get sucked into a random door in the middle of the road (ala Monster's Inc).

I was almost optimistic for Las Vegas. It's been on for awhile and seems to have a healthy fan following. Plus, I watched one when the music of OKGo was featured throughout the episode. However, my hope quickly faded when I realized this episode was two hours long and it featured Tom Selleck (pictured). Once you work with Steve Gutenberg, the stink of mediocrity can never be cleaned. I made it through 40 minutes where I saw several morning sickness jokes, two ghosts (that's more than Ghost Whisperer) and Josh Duhmael's (Win A Date With Tad Hamilton) hair get spikier and spikier.

So what did I learn? When your mom comes to visit, just say no. Or take a few Ambien and see her in the morning.

Support The Rabid!

Tonight's episode of The Office was awesome. I could write a pretty solid review of it, complete with tonight's best quotes and the like, but certain blogs/bloggers, including the other half of this one, could probably do it better. However, I just wanted to see if anyone else was as shocked about the flagrant sale of "Support The Rabid" bracelets and "Michael Scott's...Race For The Cure" Shirts? NBC had pop-up ads during the show prior to the plot line even appearing in the episode.

It was confusing and distracting. Don't get me wrong, the shirt and the wrist band are super funny and are pretty cool auxiliary products. But I guess I'm just disappointed. One of the reasons The Office is so great to watch is because it's a very aesthetically pleasing show. Between Jim (John Kransinki) and the cinematography, it really gives TV a good name. It's not the first time ads have popped up during the show, but this is the first time the practice has been abused. Let's hope it's the last.

At Least Taye Diggs Is Super Hot

I took notes, minute by minute, while watching Private Practice. You're Welcome. For those of you with TiVos, consider this your spoiler alert. And if this isn't extensive enough for you, try this out for size.

Minutes: Notes

1: How is Addison affording that house on the shore? That's a Kate Walsh house, not an Addison Montgomery house.
2: I've missed Amy Brenneman. If only Tyne Daly could come back.
6: Taye Diggs is so hot.
9: "I want Ken's sperm now." I want to watch something else now.
18: One kiss changing your entire life? Unless someone slips you some tongue while they're giving you mouth to mouth, I don't think that's happening.
27: Remnants of Greys rear their ugly head; First sign of extended metaphor/sappy music.
34: Why would you set up your hippy-dippy medical clinic 10-20 minutes form the nearest hospital? They've needed it twice in one day. Their premiums must be outrageous.
37: Holistic Doctor Guy (Tim Daly, Wings) just said, " I can treat her so she won't feel any pain." WTF? Who let Mind Freak near the patients?
43: I'm so bored. I'm going to have BBQ for dinner and I'm getting two sides. I've earned it.
50: Cue the extended metaphor/melodramatic music
55: Moon Zappa must have really dug deep to get that very ethereal crying noise to come out. You only hear that at funerals. She's the best actress on this show. I hope her character is recurring. It was so good, I won't even make a Valley Girl comment.
56: The shows ends when Addison proves she has a bigger ego (and Adam's Apple) than Kanye West. " I saved her life. I saved your asses. I'm a world class neo-natal surgeon and I'm here to stay." And in"It's Britney Bitch" fashion, she goes on to say, " Welcome to the new Oceanside Wellness."

Bitch.

This should be very interesting...

The Glory that is "The Office"

Tonight is the night! I haven't been this excited since I discovered the President Bush Speech Drinking Game. The Office, Season 4, is going to premiere. Please tell me you've been counting down the days like I have. What's up with Jim and Pam? Please enjoy these clips as a little taste of what's surely going to be a fantastic season!

The Office Premiere Clip 1

The Office Premiere Clip 2

The Office Premiere Clip 3

The Office Premiere Clip 4

The Real Worlds sick... and yes i still watch it

Last night I watched the real world. Eight years ago that would have made me cool. Now, it kind of makes me sad and pathetic. Here’s why I did it anyway:

• The “Gay Issue” never goes away
After 20 some odd seasons you’d think the cast mates would realize that “homophobia” is silly. Thank you Trisha for setting Christian people back sixty years. How can you watch the show, season after season, then apply to get on, make it, and still make the “gay issue” relevant in your conversation. Have we not watched the gay guy befriend the homophobe almost every season since 1992? Only to find out, that, oh g-d forbid, gay people are just like straight people!? Wow.

• Everyone, even the crazies, are self-conscious
Thanks Parissa, for belting in the shower, then getting worried that your roommates were talking shit about you. Now you care?

• They’re ALWAYS DRUNK
Do viewers understand this? I hope so.

• The cast mates have no shame
Even though they know the show will air after their experience, and even be repeated an insane number of times, the roomies still lie to each, still talk shit about each other, and still confess their hatred for each other! This perplexes me. Have you forgotten that you’re being filmed? I assume when you’re drunk that’s ok. But, hmm.


It’s a sad, sad world if the “real world” reflects the real world.

My Last Kid Nation Post...Maybe

Phish fan-in-training Michael, 14, had the quotation of the night yesterday. This mop-topped College Dems recruit was the winner of the Gold Star, a two-pound paper weight worth $20,000. The town-council selected him because he gets the water everyday, and fixed the pump when it froze, plus he's the dreamiest boy in all of Bonanza City. However, as down-to-earth as Michael is, his comments last night proved he's still just a short, hippy teenager with CNN.

When asked about morale at the camp and how life was in Kid Nation, Michael replied:

"At least I'm not in Ethiopia."

Right on Michael. You keep sticking it to the man. Check out the first signs of his political greatness.

Hump Day Updates

Not since they started selling popcorn for a quarter at my elementary school have I been this excited for a Wednesday. Blame it on lackluster summer shows or genuinely intriguing fall premieres, but I have an inkling fall hump days are going to be the ones to beat.

Here's what I'm watching tonight and more importantly, what I'm not:


Kid Nation (Left): I haven't been this amped to see children cry, sweat and put themselves in harms way since American Juniors. This show is living up to all of the hype and then some. However, it is kind of sad when you discover that children are just as calculating, if not more so than adults. Except this one. He's just plain cute.

Private Practice: I keep calling this show Private Parts, making for confusing conversations with my parents and colleagues. But seriously, Greys has sucked since season 2 and I'm ready to lend my loyalty to Addison and her band of wacky doctors. Plus Paul Adelstein (Prison Break) is in the cast and he has yet to let me down.

Dirty Sexy Money: The premise of this show reminds me of Arrested Development. We all saw how well that went. It's an hour long though, Peter Krause (Six Feet Under) stars, and knowing ABC, the show will have some sort of intrigue or dead narrator. I'm crossing my fingers for both.

Other things I plan to record or catch later:
Kitchen Nightmares
Top Chef
The War

Things I'm Avoiding Like The Plague:

Back To You: I like Patricia Heaton and Kelsey Grammer, but it's time to give the shows to someone else. Especially you Fraiser! You've been playing the same pompous asshole for 25 years.

The Bionic Woman: First, I refuse to give Isaiah Washington another chance so soon. Second, the pop-up ads for that show slowed down my internet beyond belief and kept me from searching IMDB. And since the image was so big, I couldn't avoid clicking it. Plus, this looks like it could be a better movie anyway.

There is a lot to sift out before I make my final Wednesday line-up though and nothing is firm yet...except Kitchen Nightmares.

Dreaming About Kitchen Nightmares

I'll admit, I've never seen Hell's Kitchen. If I wanted to watch so-so chefs get verbally abused and embarrassed for cooking mediocre food, I'd go back to Red Lobster. But I was drawn to Gordon Ramsay's new show, Kitchen Nightmares, for two reasons:

1. The chance to see a restaurant get shut down by the Health Department after Ramsay finds mold and/or pubes on the salad greens. 
2. It was free on iTunes. 

Here's the show in one sentence: Ramsay spends one week in a failing restaurant and tries to keep it from closing. It's essentially Supernanny with line cooks and refrigeration problems. However, the crying, complaining and fighting are still there and the problems are still the parents (or manager's) fault. 

 Taking a glimpse behind the swinging doors and into a kitchen, especially a dysfunctional one, is like peeking into a friend's medicine cabinet and discovering a half empty gallon jug of lube. You're disgusted, fascinated and impressed they're still standing.

 

Another plus? Peter, the co-owner of this week's restaurant, had a fondness for free espressos, Miami Vice-inspired suits and apparently 'roids. 

But despite its strengths, Kitchen Nightmares was predictable and melodramatic. The music and use of split screens are reminiscent of CTU. Since the subject is less "impending nuclear doom" and more "rotten bell peppers," it all seemed like a stretch. 

Though the show isn't perfect, it should find a nice home on Fox. Not only will there always be disgusting restaurants, but Americans have a creepy obsession with Gordon Ramsay. He's blunt, has a bird's nest for hair, and he has an accent. Plus, he says "Fuck me" more times this episode than the last season of Cathouse. It's a guilty pleasure of the best kind, a crappy, overzealous cooking show with heavy censorship. I hope they make all 22 episodes.